Author: Dronian
Year: Unknown
Hello. I will be writing on this blog because I am researching a show called Happy Appy. One of the main reasons I'm researching this show is because I've been fascinated with old, obscure TV shows, episodes that were never seen after the first broadcast, and movies that never made it to home video. Like most people who research these so-called "missing episodes", I'm hell-bent on finding series like London After Midnight, the 108 missing Doctor Who episodes, and Him, a 1974 film where a man has a sexual obsession with Jesus. Even though I should help with searching for any fragment of these, I'm going to be researching a different series for now. The reason I want to research this other show is because I had an experience with it around 2001, at around 8AM. My younger brother was watching a local station during its children's show block. After a dubbed over episode of Blue's Clues, the channel started to air a show with a Russian title that translates to "Happy Apple." I can barely remember the episode's plot, but it was about an apple who was trying to help a kid named Nathaniel. It felt sort of low budget, but since my brother liked the episode, I didn't mind him watching it. The only thing that made me suspicious was this evil smile the apple did in the middle of the episode.
From what I gathered, in the first week's of Noggin's existence, this "Happy Appy" show began production. Its plot was about a giant clay apple with arms, baby blue eyes, and dark green lips being held up by a bent, rusty stick. He would go around in a white 1996 Ford Windstar helping children when they got injured. As the show kept going, the episode started becoming more and more unusual. For example, Happy Appy would often stare at the viewers with a deranged smile. It's also worth mentioning that the series slowly became more violent as the series progressed. Happy Appy was one of the shorter shows on Noggin, with every episode being ten minutes long at the most. They played in duets, making each full episode around 20 minutes long minus the commercials. A couple of months after Happy Appy's first episode aired, Nickelodeon cancelled the show and it was never seen again on Noggin or Nick Jr. Even the much more appropriate episodes weren't shown, for whatever reason. However, some parents did record the show on VHS tapes.
Of those VHS tapes, only a few survived the years. Many had been destroyed either due to neglect or disgust, or were simply misplaced and thrown out by accident. Even so, rumors went around that some copies were stolen by a shadowy figure. I was one of the lucky people to find copies of the episodes. But over the years, I kind of forgot about the show. Yesterday, when I did some winter cleaning, I found an old DVD with "H.A. Episodes" written on it. I had a feeling I knew this abbreviation from somewhere. I didn't know what the DVD was, so I didn't dare put it in my computer yet, so I instead did some research online. My first choice to find out what that "H.A." meant was the forum I usually go to, one for discussing obscure and missing TV show episodes or films. When I entered the missing episode section of the forum, I saw one was named "HA? What's this?" A user had, like me, found a VHS tape with the initials "H.A." on it. As I read more of the thread, I figured out the initials on my disc must have stood for "Happy Appy." This instantly reminded me of that low budget show I watched with my brother in 2000. In the replies, users claimed there are no known DVD copies around. I'm not sure how the disc got there, and I certainly don't remember owning a disc that looked like it!
After viewing the thread, I went ahead and tried the disc out in my DVD player. It worked, instantly cutting to the intro of an episode. There were no menus, so it must have been a homemade DVD. Happy Appy's intro song had the same tune as Mary Had a Little Lamb. It went something like this, repeated three times in a row:
Happy Appy, Appy, App,
Happy App, Happy App,
Happy Appy, Appy, App,
He helps kids all day!
Episode 1 and 2 were called "Happy's Vacation" and "Hurt Happy." Happy's Vacation was exactly what you'd expect. Happy Appy goes on a vacation to the beach, helps injured kids, and even talks down a bully into not hurting a child. Hurt Happy was about Happy's stick getting broken and the kids teaming up to help him by giving him bandages and fruit. Nothing seemed all too out of place when I first watched it, but after watching it a couple more times, I realized the episodes looked a bit odd. When Happy was driving his van to the beach in Happy's Vacation, a few seconds skipped. At first I ignored it, thinking it could be a scratched DVD, but when I checked the disc later, there were no scratches whatsoever. Additionally, during the fruit scene in Hurt Happy, the kids gave him an apple for some reason. It seemed odd, but it could have been a mistake by the producers. As I watched them again, I noticed even more. In Happy's van during the intro to Happy's Vacation, there was what looked like the corner of Obama's HOPE poster, but so much of it was out of frame that it could have been a coincidence. At the end of Hurt Happy, there was a news broadcast about a 9.0 earthquake that recently struck Japan. Happy said, "Oh no! If you want to help the Japanese, call this number!" and a 1-800 number appeared. I thought these were just coincidental, but...I was wrong.
Episodes 3 and 4 were stranger. The intros of these two episodes were removed for some reason, but I found out online that episode 4's name was "Nate Needs Help." This stuck out to me for one reason: it was the very same episode I'd watched with my brother, but in English! Episodes 3 and 4 were missing a few scenes and were, overall, more disturbing than the first two. In episode 3 – about five minutes in – is when Happy Appy does his first evil smile. It lasted almost 30 seconds. However, a scene that could send chills down anyone's spine was the boo-boo part in "Nate Needs Help." Happy aids Nate, who has a bruise on his knee. He looks to the camera, giving the same evil smile I remember from that day back when I first saw the episode, and says "What does Nate need for his boo-boo?" For about thirty seconds, he stared at the camera, motionless, his soulless baby blue eyes locking onto anyone watching. Finally, he broke the silence and said "That's right! A bandage!" Why he needed that long to wait for replies from viewers, I will never know.
Also, the out of place objects were getting more noticeable. In Nate Needs Help, the radio plays what sounds like a country cover of "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry. Kind of strange, seeing as the song was made in 2008, and it doesn't seem like a song anyone would play in a kid's show.I watched episode 5, which had a few differences from the first four episodes. First, Happy was on a rustless (but still bent) stick. Second, this episode was legitimately disturbing at times. The theme song played as normal, and the name of the episode is revealed to be "Monkey Bar Mishap." It started with Happy Appy in his van, driving to the playground when he sees a kid crying near some monkey bars. Once he parks his van and goes to the monkey bars, Happy finds the kid had fallen off and cut his little finger open. Happy Appy said, "What does Jake need to heal with, kids?" He gave his little smile to the viewers for a couple of minutes. It was enough time to read a page of a book (preferably the Bible, in my opinion) aloud to him. Like in Nate Needs Help, his soulless baby blue eyes watched over anyone in the room like Big Brother. He finally said, "That's right!" and put a bandage on Jake's finger. After getting a hug, Happy drives away in his van. It skipped directly to episode 6 after this. In my opinion, this episode had a better chance of being aired on something like Wonder Showzen than Nick Jr.
In this episode, called "Never Run with Knives," a kid was running with a knife facing up. The knife was clearly a rubber prop, because the blade was flopping around a lot. The kid got "cut" and held his hand over the wound, crying. As blood began to drip down his arm, Happy parked his van, gave a normal smile, and said "Hey kids, he shouldn't have carried the knife face up while running!" However, he did put a bandage over the wound. The kid hugged Happy, who said "Remember kids, never run with sharp objects, especially if they're facing up! Always walk with knives and scissors, and always walk with them facing down!" Happy took the kid to his van and drove off, then the credits played. However, after the credits, the episode took a disturbing turn. Happy came back in his van with the kid missing, and said "Hey kids! If you find me and my van, just talk to me and I'll take you away, ha ha!" Episode 7 began with Happy on the playground, but he wasn't played with kids or helping them. He was just staring at them with that unsettling smile. A group of kids are playing with jumpropes when Happy walks over. He calmly tells them something, but at a very quiet volume. From what I could hear, I could only make out "Hello... Happy... I... how... me... please?" I could see where this was going. The kids walk with Happy into the bushes. Loud violent screams are heard for almost a minute and a half, then Happy drags three bloody bodies out of the bushes and toward his van.
I couldn't believe it. For the rest of the episode, he does that damn deathly sickening smile! Why did they use that look so much? It was almost like he could climb out of your TV, grab you, and murder you slowly and painfully with a rusty knife, but he couldn't.
I moved onto episodes 8 and 9. This time, they were so violent and shoddy that they couldn't have aired on television at all. Episode 8 had Happy Appy take a kid into his van. For half of the episode, the sounds of cutting flesh could be heard, and so could loud screaming that eventually turned into gurgles. As the scene progressed, blood splatters on the windows began to appear. Eventually, Happy emerged from the van and did that smile until the end of the show. Like episode 8, episode 9 was gory and violent. But this episode ramped it up to a degree that I couldn't believe Noggin would allow it, unless it was some sort of hijacking. It starts out with Happy Appy walking around the playground when two kids ask him what the cycle of life is, so they could complete their homework. He proceeds to tell the kids about the cycle of life in frogs and plants. The kids said, "Thanks, Happy! Can you play with us for a bit?" Happy agrees and they start playing on the playground. When this happens, smoke starts to creep behind Happy and the children. It gets to a point where they start coughing because of how dense the smoke is, so they turn around to see what was making the smoke. Happy gasps at the sight in front of them.
Two towers in the distance were on fire and burning up. A few peoiple were falling out of windows to escape the fire. There was a lot of screaming, falling debris, and a crashed airplane in one of the towers. Only the tail of the plane was visible, which was nearing the point of collapse. I could hear a faint whining noise at this point – I think it was the plane's engine, which was probably still on. Seven seconds later, the tail of the plane finally broke apart, with the largest piece hitting and killing someone. During this scene, fire trucks could be heard trying to douse the flames, but it only slowed the flames down. The wiling of ambulances could be heard, taking the bodies of the people who jumped from the towers. It showed a weird guy on fire falling out of one of the towers, screaming.
Happy and the kids are seen again, but this time they stood still in fear. The smoke got thicker and thicker, slowly obscuring the trees and equipment of the playground. The debris from the towers fell around the kids and Happy, and a person ran up to them and told them to run away from the towers before hurrying off. When the older kid worriedly asked why the towers were on fire, it cut to a higher-up floor that was near where the plane crashed, revealing a kid under a huge piece of concrete, crying for help. Other kids tried to help him by lifting the piece of concrete off him. He was screaming so loud it was almost heartbreaking. There were bodies and blood everywhere, and the pain and fear on the trapped kid's face was so realistic that I cringed. After the shot with the kid trapped under the concrete, the younger kid turns to the side and says "Happy Appy, why are people running and falling from the towers?" Happy Appy turns to the camera, that evil smile on his face, and coldly says three words. Those three words will haunt me for as long as I live.
"That's natural, children."
He took the two kids away from the towers, leaving the kid stuck under the concrete screaming for help. Whent he credits rolled, the audio of the scene kept playing. At the end, before the video cut out, something collapsed, making a loud noise that could scare anyone watching. I jumped out of my seat. Was Happy a death bringer in the form of an apple, or was he a master predictor? If that episode somehow predicted 9/11, I have to watch episodes 10 and 11 to see if anything else was predicted! I might not see any predictions, though. Honestly, I hope not. Also, the tsunami aid phone number? Tomorrow, I'm going to call it and see what happens.
I called the 1-800 number seen in episode 3. It was a pre-recorded message. "Hello! My name is Happy Appy! I am every kid's most helpful and favorite apple! If you want to make a donation, press 1. If you want to know about the earthquake, press 2." When I pressed 2, the hotline said this: "An earthquake and tsunami has recently hit Japan, and we need all the help we can get! If you can make a donation of 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 50, or 100 dollars, you will be a big help! Anyone who donates gets a Happy Appy badge!" I went ahead and donated a dollar for the fun of it, using an outdated savings account I still had but almost never used. A response came after that: "Thank you for helping with the aid for the tsunami! Look in your mailbox in a week from now, because you'll get your Happy Appy badge!"
I'm wondering what earthquake Happy predicted. Between 1999 and the current day, there were no 9.0 earthquakes in Japan. The closest thing would have to be the 2003 Hokkaido earthquake, so I guess he was predicting that.
Episode 10 was corrupted, to say the least. It started up without any audio. The first part was so badly compressed it was hard to make anything out. The latter half of it was plain static. "Great, a missing episode," I thought. Funny that I'd get a missing episode in a show that was all missing episodes.
Episode 11, called "Happy's Trick," was actually watchable. The intro had some weird, off-beat carnival music, with Happy doing that smile at the camera. The episode began with him in his van, driving on a winding road. As the episode went on, scars started to appear on his body. Eventually, Happy reached the playground, where many children were at play. He jumped out, looking like he was ready to abduct all of them, and said, "Hey kids, who wants to see Happy do a magic trick?" Like brainwashed zombies, the kids cheered and ran into his van. Happy closed the doors and drove away. After a few minutes, the van came back and the side door opened, revealing a motionless and expressionless Happy covered in blood. I couldn't take it anymore. Happy was making me feel extremely nauseous for some reason, so I skipped to the end of the episode. From what I saw from the fast-forwarded segments, the rest of the episode showed him watching TV and reading the news, with random zoom-ins at the newspaper. Why, though? I'm guessing that they're predicting things like in episode 9, but after seeing all that...I'm not going back to read them.
There was a brief scene where happy began to stab a kid, but it quickly cut out to Happy watching a scene on his TV where the inside of a space shuttle catches on fire. Why the hell does the show keep showing scenes reminiscent of future disasters? Once I had gotten to the end of the episode, Happy was holding a knife and was covered with blood again. The camera began to pan down to a table, which had a hand with cut marks laying on it. What was probably the most unusual thing about this episode was what happened afterward. After a few seconds of the credits played, it suddenly cut to a black screen with text.
If you get these DVDs, I copied the show over to them from whatever master tapes I could find. I wanted to preserve this show so the last few episodes weren't lost forever. Now, you might be wondering one thing: how did Nickelodeon air all of these episodes? I don't know, they just did. If you want to know more about the show, including its fate, see me.
-KC
Thankfully, I had a good grasp of who KC most likely was: Kevin Seward Christianson, a friend of mine. It wouldn't be out of the question. When I first met him, he did mention something about working with Nickelodeon until the end of the millenium. Wanting to learn more about the show'f ate, I went over to his house. What happened when I got there was, to put it bluntly, odd. I rang the doorbell and nobody responded. The door wasn't locked, so I decided to enter the house and see what was going on. I heard a middle-aged woman crying upstairs, so I ran to the stairs to see what was going on. Kevin's wife was in their bedroom, crying while looking at a framed portrait of them together. I asked her what happened, and she replied with a very odd answer. "Last night, someone or something took him away in his sleep. The police are trying to look for him, but they've come up with nothing, as usual! They questioned me and searched our house for any evidence, but there's none...except for this scrap of paper."
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and it revealed a low-quality photograph of the scarred Happy Appy during the "natural" scene. While I was still there, I asked if she knew how those episodes had managed to get aired on Noggin. "Th-this man h-had drugged the producers! He was going to-" She only managed to say that much before bursting into tears. I could only think that whoever "that man" was had kidnapped Kevin. After comforting her, I left the Christianson household. Once I started to get near my house, I was started by the noise of a gunshot nearby. I instantly ran inside, fearing that whoever kidnapped Kevin might have been trying to chase after me. Before I closed the door, I took one last glimpse of the bushes on the other side of the street. In one of them looked to be a mutilated arm, with an unknown figure standing behind it.
Hey, I wanted to know if anyone has any recordings of a Happy Appy episode. If you do, please send me an email containing video of it. You might wonder why I'm asking this. Well, I found my disc in pieces on my desk. No, I didn't get the chance to save the videos to my laptop. Oddly, the way it was broken was almost like a claw had slashed the disc into thirds. The paper with Happy Appy on it was nearby, with writing that said, "No more evidence now, huh?" I wonder who was angry enough to break into my house and destroy my disc.
The badge came into the mail today. It came in a small box that, interestingly, had a timestamp from 2000. I could only guess that Nickelodeon had some left over from when the show was still airing. When I opened the box and dumped out the contents, the badge came rolling out with a letter attached to it. The badge was made of plastic, was a silver-bronze color, and depicted Happy Appy with a normal smile. On the back, "Happy Appy Helper Badge" was printed on in stereotypical army font. The letter had the following written on it:
To my friend,
You have helped us help the Japanese! Of course, let me introduce myself. Unarguably, you have heard of me on Noggin! Can't understand what I'm saying? Well, I'll give you the answer!Happy Appy, Appy, App,
Happy App, Happy App,
Happy Appy, Appy, App,
He helps kids all day!Now, where do I begin with this gift? Today, I have given you a nice badge, right from the old playground! How did I get these, you ask? Running across the playground, I tripped on a rock. I fell down, but I noticed the ground was uneven! Undoubtedly, something was buried, so I dug the ground and found a crate filled with these badges! Now, it's time to be off! Watch Noggin at 8:30AM CST to see my new adventures!
Love,
Happy Appy
I checked the back for anything interesting. What I found instead were two lines of gibberish:
MSCPBSPOWSDCAZUONGWSEDVJNY
MZPZQLQHNREFBGHSCWFONXBULOILLWEJOCZJKN
I don't know what they mean.
Today, I got an email from a man who claimed to be a user on WikiLeaks. He had heard about my research on Happy Appy, so he tried to find any documents related to the show. He did find one, which told employees at Nickelodeon to never air certain TV shows or movies. After browsing through a massive description of Cry Baby Lane and other shows, I found this block of text in the middle of the document:
One show, originally named "Happy Appy," was cancelled due to excessive violence and gore. The show depicted a personified apple named "Happy Appy" that taught kids how to handle certain injuries and, on an episode titled "Hurt Happy," teamwork. On their last and only 8th episode, only an hour had passed when Noggin began to remove traces of the show. Children who had watched the show's 8th episode had allegedly started showing symptoms of nausea and sleep deprivation. A 2003 report says the episode appeared to depict explicit imagery of the September 11th terrorist attacks, even though the episode originally aired in 1999.
I'm getting a lot more suspicious about the show.
First off, yes I know that Happy Appy might have predicted the recent earthquake and tsunami. Stop sending me emails about it!
To put it short, I'm back. Since my job involves working with the police department, I had to take a hiatus from this blog so I could get paid. During this period, there were some trials involving the murder of Kevin Christianson (yes, they declared him dead). However, the investigation came to an abrupt halt when the severed arm they'd found disappeared. I bet that "shadow man" stole the arm. Anyway, I was looking up Happy Appy on Youtube today when I found a video called "Kevin Christianson Interview - Audio Only," so I watched it. Here's a transcript.
Interviewer: Are you Kevin Christianson?
KC: Yes.
Interviewer: So, are you the one who worked on Happy Appy's clay model?
KC: Yes.
Interviewer: How did you get the job for Happy Appy?
KC: I had just graduated from an art college in late 1998. I heard about Nickelodeon Studios, who were making cartoons at the time. I sent a resume and a few weeks later, I got the job and was happy. Well, until the shit hit the fan.
Interviewer: What happened on the day you made the Happy Appy model?
KC: Basically, we had to design a cute-looking puppet for the show. We started with a rusty stick that was lying around on the floor of the studio, made an apple out of clay, and stuck it on the stick. We added baby blue eyes with pupils so he would look cuter and less frightening for kids, then some huge green lips and clay arms. Finally, we added the stem and leaf. We thought it was perfect for the show.
Interviewer: Who voiced Happy Appy?
KC: I don't remember his name, but I do remember where he was from. It was a show called Fright House Screamers, where four teenagers would spend the night at haunted places.
Interviewer: What happened to Fright House Screamers?
KC: When they were filming the fourth episode, one of the teenagers was found dead in the place they were filming. Besides, the show didn't have good ratings.
Interviewer: Was the voice of Happy the teenager who was killed?
KC: I'm pretty sure not.
Interviewer: Back to Happy Appy, why aren't there any surviving copies of the show?
KC: That's a good point. See, Nickelodeon stored the tapes somewhere, but they don't plan on releasing them. There have been bootlegs made, of course, but there are none of any episodes after 8 or 9, which is pretty weird to me.
Interviewer: How many episodes of Happy Appy were there going to be?
KC: Two full 26-episode seasons. They only showed 8 or 9 episodes of the first season before it was cancelled. However, my friend Jim says they taped two entire season's worth of episodes, but he was very drunk when he said that and I don't trust his word at all.
Interviewer: Do you know anyone else who worked on Happy Appy?
KC: I only knew Jim personally.
Dear God, I've had some feverish nightmares of Happy Appy ever since I saw those episodes. The dreams range from Happy doing that sickly smile for hours, to him brutally murdering a kid off-camera. Not only that, but I've become kind of paranoid around apples. If I see one in my house, I find myself eating it as quickly as possible or throwing it away. I've seen that mysterious figure more, too, whether he's sitting on the side of a hill or standing near some trees. It never seems to leave me alone. However, I can at least describe him. First off, he can't be made of shadow – he has some sort of face with a mouth. However, his face is locked to one expression: Happy's smile. I'm going to sound weird by saying this, but I almost find myself wondering if he's actually Happy. But he can't be. There's a big difference between this figure and Happy Appy, a child-sized apple! Oh well. Here's more about this stalker: he looks slightly taller than me (for reference, I'm around 1.87 meters tall) and looks about mid-weight for his height.
If he keeps appearing, I'm going to have to board up my house. I'm not sure what his problem is, but if he doesn't stop, I'm going to call the cops next time I see him.
Great. Just fucking great. How the hell do I put this in short? Right now, I'm at the library. It could very well be the only place in Aberdeen that has a free to use computer. It's been five full days since I last encountered that shadowy figure, but... Honestly, I think he burnt my house down. He burnt the entire thing down for no reason whatsoever! I don't have any proof, but his disappearance and my house going up in flames coincide too closely. I did manage to save a few things from my house, though, like my laptop and the Happy Appy badge and letter. Even then, I feel like I've released some sort of bullshit curse from watching those episodes of Happy Appy. The library is my only hope spot. Thanks to that figure, I'm not even going to research more on this show anymore. After I destroy the badge and letter, I'm going to close down this blog. Or, better yet, I should kill that fucker for what he did. I don't give a damn if I break the law and get sent to jail! Whoever this guy is has to pay for what he's done to me!
However, there's a chance he didn't burn my house down. I didn't see him nearby, so it could have been a chimney or electrical fire. So, you know what? Forget what I said about closing the blog and killing the guy. I'm going to treat the fire like it was natural and keep researching the show. Don't expect me to act so nicely in the following months, though.
I've finally got somewhere to live! To be more precise, I bought a mobile home in the nearby trailer park a few days ago. Since I'm not the richest man in the neighborhood, this will definitely do for now, until I get enough money to buy a proper house.
On Happy Appy, one of my friends, Jim Forester, actually remembered Happy Appy. He's even most likely the Jim mentioned in Kevin's interview. He said there were more episodes I didn't have on that DVD. It turns out that the most violent episodes were at the end of the season. The first season was supposed to have 25 episodes and a TV movie. No one mentioned the movie before because Jim and Nickelodeon had the only known high-quality tapes until I found that DVD. Jim sent me a disc with fragments of Happy Appy episodes after we talked, though. The first clip starts out with a close up of a school bell ringing. It cuts to Happy Appy standing next to a kid sitting at a desk. The kid is trying to answer a math problem, but gives up and says "I don't know how to do my homework!" Soon, the teacher says "Class is dismissed." The kid becomes ashamed he didn't know how to do his homework, but Happy says, "That's alright! I'll sing you the math song and you will understand!" After the kid gasps, Happy sings a song about math. It was distorted, but I could thankfully make out the lyrics.
I'm going to show you how to do your homework!
7+4 is 11, and 9-2 is 7,
Math's not a chore, because 15-11=4!
6+2 is 8, and you're doing great,
Now here's the last three, you're on a spree!
66-39 is 27, and -5+16 is 11,
2-1, and now your homework is done!
After that, the kid says "Wow! Thanks, Happy Appy!" I find it odd that the kids were doing math that was more suitable for older elementary students.
The next fragment was one of the violent episodes. Even though the clips looked like they were separate and from different episodes, they actually seemed to be in order. It started with three kids saying their families were gone. They proceeded to cry so loudly that it was almost painful to see. Happy Appy and two other kids enter the shot and tried to calm them down. Eventually, they manage to calm down the three kids and all five of them leave. However, Happy had this weird, perverted, greedy expression. He tells the kids to come with him and they follow him into an abandoned office building. Two minutes later, he leaves the building, dragging several money bags with him. The kids were screaming for help again. It didn't end there. There was one fragment of a somewhat violent episode. Happy was putting a bandage on a kid's arm. Oddly enough, he was wearing a long coat in this episode. In the far corner of his pocket, a needle with green fluid is visible. Happy gave the kid a shot with the needle, which knocked the kid out. He dragged the kid into his van and a chainsaw was heard. The DVD stopped after that.
Also, do you want to know more about that encounter I had with the figure? It turns out he was at the library, so I got out of there as fast as I could. However, about Kleiner... What I thought was Harold was actually someone else that looked like him. Secondly, I gave the figure a nickname: Forenzik. It's better than calling him "the figure." I didn't come up with it, though - I found a scrap of paper on my desk that said "Forenzik." Obviously, I have to call the figure something, so Forenzik will do for now. When I saw him 17 days ago, he seemed to have fingers with claws. I don't mean like retractable claws. His fingers looked like they were very sharp. I also got a good look at how he moved. He seemed to be hunchbacked, which means he would be taller than me if he were standing up straight. I'd say about 6'9", though that's just speculation. Additionally, I can't provide a picture of him since I haven't gotten the chance to take a picture of him. Yet.
Jim Forester called me again with another development. Tristan Yae, the man who voiced Happy Appy (he was also one of the stars of Fright House Screamers, coincidentally), was found dead today. His body had three long, deep gashes on his chest, with one deep enough that it was piercing his heart. Even though the police marked it as murder by a bladed weapon, I think Forenzik killed the guy. It seems like a coincidence that my DVD of the Happy Appy episodes was clawed in the same way Tristan Yae was. Jim, however, said it would have to be very sharp claws if it was true - the markings managed to put a deep cut into one of Tristan's ribs.
You know... I might have to research Fright Night Screamers after I'm done with Happy Appy. It's been coming up so much lately that it's starting to sound quite interesting.
Today, Jim Forester gave me a DVD with three episodes I've never seen. According to Jim, the first is the episode where Happy had the needle. The second was the full version of Happy Goes to School. The last might be the second part of the Happy Appy TV movie. I would be able to describe the episodes right now, if it wasn't for the fact that it was given to me in such a dirty state!
After all this time, I finally found a cleaning solution that was able to get off all the gunk! The only problem is that there are some scratches that causes the DVD not to read sometimes. Anyway... The first episode started with the scene where Happy had the needle. After Happy kills the kid, he drives to a crashed plane, where the scene with the money bags happened. It cuts to the playground, where Happy played with some kids. It went along like normal until his skin peeled off, revealing a rotten apple core. It was like an orange peeler was being used on him. The skin landed on a boy's head, covering his face like a blanket. The weird part about this scene was that the kids had no reaction to Happy's skin being peeled, like it never happened at all. After a minute of looking at the boy with Happy's skin on his head, the episode ends.
The second episode was, as Jim said, the full version of Happy Goes to School. It begins with the math scene and a song happens, but the quality is vastly improved from other songs I've heard so far. After that, Happy goes into a science class where a kid is messing with a bunsen burner. Eventually, the kid gets his finger burned by accident. Happy informs the audience, "Never play with a bunsen burner without adult supervision! If you don't, you might get hurt like Eddie here!" After this short monologue, Happy puts an ice pack on Eddie's burn, and Eddie thanks Happy. A few seconds later, Happy hears an argument coming from the hallway. It cuts to a bully mocking a kid, telling him that his art project is the dumbest thing ever. Because of this, the younger kid starts crying. After some mocking, the bully runs off laughing. Right as he leaves, Happy comes over and tells the kid never to give up what he likes doing. The kid cheers up and runs into a classroom, presumably to tell a teacher about the bully.
Finally, the Happy Appy movie. Or, at least part of it. It started with Happy Appy driving his van on the road leading to the playground.It shows a kid playing with rocks on the side of the road. By accident, he throws a large rock into the road and it lands directly in the path of Happy's van. Happy thinks it's an animal and tries to swerve out of the way, but the van goes off the road and crashes into a grassy ditch. For this scene, footage of a real car crash was used for whatever reason. After this scene, the van catches on fire. Some kids, including the one who threw the giant rock, run over to the burning wreckage. The music for this scene is the usual happy-go-lucky music that plays throughout the show, but sound clips of what I think might have been Revolution 9 in reverse, with Happy screaming, "GET ME OUT!" The kids look around for a minute and one points, crying out "There! His hat, his hat!" It cuts to Happy's bloody stem, which had a mouth with bloody teeth on it. The stem proceeded to scream, which was just a sound clip of one of the screams Mike Schank did in American Movie. Another kid cries, "His body! His body!" Happy's body was badly burnt and scratched up, with blood coming out of the larger, deeper cuts. His left eyeball was dangling out of the socket, while all of his upper teeth were chipped or broken. Where Happy's left arm and stick were, there was pure white bone, with blood slowly leaking from the exposed wounds.
Happy tried to crawl out of the burning wreck with his right arm, but it was only a minute until he collapsed and died, while screaming over weird sci-fi noises. The next scene showed the road, lacking any children whatsoever. Happy's remains and the van were in plain sight. It cuts to a funeral, where kids were crying over Happy's dead body. One kid asked, "Why, Happy? Why?" while another tried to 'wake up' Happy by shaking his corpse. After the funeral, it showed Happy's body, with blood on his broken teeth. The shot fades to a scene taking place ten years later, where a kid was talking to her mother. The mother replied to the girl, but her speech was in reverse. I put the video into an editor and reversed it, revealing the mother to be saying "Don't worry, my daughter. Happy Appy is coming to take you away, ha ha!" The father comes in and talks about how bad Happy was, in a sarcastic tone. After the mother asks why he randomly brought Happy up, the father pulls out a knife and stabs the mother in the head. The girls creams, runs to the mother's side, and starts crying. The father's skin peels off, like the scene with Happy in the first episode on the DVD, revealing Happy with his injuries from the car crash. Happy proceeds to kill the girl.
The last shot before the credits was Happy Appy, smiling over the bodies of the mother and kid, as well as the skin of the father. Instead of the theme song playing over the credits, dark carnival music played, with clips of Revolution 9 and Napoleon XIV's "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha!" A narrator started speaking. "His stomach was in two today." "There were two, and there is none now." "He's there, he's getting next to his sister with all he knows." Finally, "He ceased to work in the underworld." Guess what the narrator was talking over? He was talking over video of Happy Appy, a bloodied scalpel in one hand and an Xacto knife in the other. It slowly panned down to the disguise Happy was under, like the magic trick episode, and stopped at the hand of the skin, which had cut marks on it. The DVD ended there.
It's been almost a week since I watched the second half of the Happy Appy movie. I found someone online who claimed to have it in full, so I asked him to email it to me. It turns out he was right. It starts with the carnival theme from the credits I saw before, with distorted voices. The intro often flashed out to white. After that, it went straight to Happy on a medical bed, dying from an unknown disease with children at his side. Happy said in a loud voice, "THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!" and it cut to one of the younger children. He was trying to fake crying over Happy's death, but the single tear that came from his eyes was claymation. There was a solemn piano tune after another kid with a high-pitched voice said, "They're coming to take ME away!" It showed Happy Appy coughing up blood. A few seconds later, his bed wheeled itself into a surgery room. What followed was an hour of stop-motion surgery. It was so horrifying but so compelling. How did the show's creators make a decent surgery scene with puppets? After that, Happy comes out in a wheelchair and the children asked, "Are you okay, Happy Appy?" Happy said, "Yes, my friends!" and gave them a large hug.
After that, it faded to a title that said "Three months later..." When it faded back to the movie, it was the start of the half I'd seen before.
I got another episode today. One of my blog's followers, who has a job in a daycare center in Seattle, mailed me a VHS tape. The tape had a white label that said, written in blue sharpie, "Happy Appy is the Hospital Doctor." He found the tape when one of the kids at his daycare brought it with him, for whatever reason, and started crying after seeing the contents. The tape began with a few minutes of static and played the famous intro, but it had new lyrics that didn't match the tune too well.
Happy Appy helps those kids,
Happy App, Happy App,
Happy Appy, Appy, App,
Happy Appy Appy!
There was a POV shot of Happy Appy running through a hospital for two and a half minutes, with a choir singing Amazing Grace. Since I knew what Amazing Grace was really about (due to choir experience), I was prepared for anything related to death. It cuts to Happy Appy on his metal stick, doing his evil smile for a long time. Like the two other times, he watched over any living thing near the TV with his uncanny, soulless baby blue eyes. The evil smile made his glare worse, giving an immense feeling of threat to anyone watching. After the choir stopped, ambient noise started playing. It kept growing louder and louder as the camera slowly zoomed in on Happy. After about 10 minutes of watching a clay apple staring you down with loud ambience, he says, "Hey kids, let's go find some children to help!" He runs up to some full body bags while a nurse is zipping one up. Happy walks up to the nurse and says, "Hello, Mrs. Nurse! Can I help those people?" The nurse says, "Happy, they're dead. They won't come back." Right before the credits, Happy Appy turns to the camera with another one of those smiles and says something that could be more disturbing than the "natural" scene and the staring scenes, and made me cringe.
"Remember kids, you will all die one day, and I won't be there to help you."
A week ago, Jim told me a fire had recently ravaged through the studio that had filmed Happy Appy. It wasn't until the 25th that I visited the ruins of the studio, to see if I could find anything that could help me investigate the show. After traveling on the I-5 for 20 or so hours, I reached the studio. It was completely abandoned and looked like it should have been condemned. Oddly, there were no signs and nothing that implied they would be demolishing it any time soon. After grabbing a flashlight, I proceeded to sneak inside. When I got into what remained of the lobby, I saw two rooms that weren't overly burnt or crushed by debris: a sound set and a storage room. The storage room had a lock on it, so I went into the sound set first. It was massive, around the size of half a football field. Despite it being so big, the only things there were some remains of green screen stages and a burnt studio camera. For some reason, parts of the remaining cloth on the stages looked to me like it had blood stains on it.
While I was walking through the sound set, I heard male laughter and the movement of a figure near the back. I got the hell out of there and blocked the door with a burnt desk. After that close encounter, I went over to the storage room and broke the rusted lock off the door. It turned out to be just a vault of props used in the shows made by this studio. There was a mostly in-tact shelf to the right of the room which held some reels of tape. After picking those up, I found a safe that had partially melted into the floor. With some force, I managed to pry it free and hauled it to my car. After going into the storage room a third time, I heard what sounded like wood burning, so I checked the sound set to see what was going on. The entire back wall had been lit ablaze by some vandal! I checked the storage room for any more artifacts as quickly as I could, but found nothing, so I ran out of the building before the entirety of it started to burn.
I seriously wonder who the hell did this. Is Forenzik so dedicated to killing me that it would set an entire burnt-out TV studio on fire to do so? Was it even him at all?
After dealing with some personal things, I got around to breaking the lock on the safe. The contents were mostly useless, except for one thing: Happy Appy's puppet with that evil grin on his face. Even though I really don't want to own that, I'm keeping it in case it helps me find out more about the show's history. The tape reels weren't anything special, just the earlier episodes in a slightly higher quality than I'd seen them in before.
On closer examination, the puppet has a few anomalies. First off, the right hand looked like it might have been ripped off and reattached. It could suggest someone was trying to get Happy to hold something too heavy for the arm. One of his eyes was a darker blue than the baby blue his eyes normally were, and his leaf was partially broken off. Finally, there was writing on the back of the puppet's head. I'm guessing due to the heat from the previous fire there was a bit of damage, because I couldn't make all of the writing out.
PR...P...Y OF NI...EL...O...E...N S...DI...S
OWNED BY
It turns out I should have taken a closer look at those tapes yesterday, too. The scenes with missing frames from Happy's Vacation and Hurt Happy had those frames. Also, the poster in Happy's van that I thought looked like Obama's HOPE poster was missing as well. I guess these tapes were workprint quality, and not actually the finished product aired on television. If that's so, it doesn't explain why the tape that held Happy Goes to School had the beginning of the Towers on it. I can only guess that the Towers was originally a normal episode in production, but some asshole edited it and got the whole series cancelled.
When I was getting the mail last night, I managed to spot Forenzik looking at me from my garage. This time, I managed to get a picture of him! Even though it's incredibly blurry (damn you, zoom lens!), at least I have a photo of what he looks like. The odd thing is that unlike regular sightings, where Forenzik has Happy's creepy smile on his mask, he had a frown on it this time. I wondered about the mask all this time. I got creeped out by the Happy Appy puppet, though, and smashed and burned it, and when I saw him next he had the smile back. You know, I think the puppet was powering Forenzik somehow. I could be wrong, though.
I apologize for not updating this blog lately. I really haven't had much to say, but recently I've been feeling creeeped out. I thought I had destroyed the puppet days ago, but when I went into the kitchen to make a snack, I saw it lying on the counter looking just like it had before I smashed it. I've also been having nightmares about Happy and Forenzik. The most vivid one so far happened last night. It was based on that episode the Towers. I saw a completed Freedom Tower being hit by a large airliner. Onlookers were either running away or standing in place, crying or praying to God. I remember that I was one of the onlookers, unable to move an inch. Right next to me was a ripe apple tree that, oddly, hadn't been knocked over by debris. On the pavement, there was an apple that had presumably fell from the tree. I picked it up and almost got to take a bite out of it when I noticed Forenzik watching me from a nearby bush. As I bit into the apple, it suddenly grew a mouth and began screaming loudly. Horrified, I threw the apple, injuring it more. As soon as it hit the ground, Forenzik disappeared from the bush. As the scream from the apple grew louder, the fire on the Freedom Tower kept growing until the tower collapsed, sending a cloud of debris toward onlookers. Before I was hit, I jumped out of bed, screaming in horror.
I don't know why, but it seems like Forenzik and Happy are the only things I can really think about anymore. Thanks to them, I think I'm going inside. First off, I can't see fruit without think about Happy Appy in some way. Thankfully, I don't think about Happy when I see a vegetable, unless the vegetable is some kind of clay puppet. Second, I fear tall and skinny people (especially both) a lot more than I used to, mainly because of Forenzik being so tall and skinny. When I see a playground, I imagine Happy Appy in that one dark, plant-filled, abandoned corner of the playground, doing that evil grin and looking like he's ready to murder every child. I really regret researching this show.
Also, I've taken the time to look into Fright House Screamers. I've learned quite a bit, but it's not as related to Happy as I thought it would be. It just shares a couple of people on the credits.
Today, I went to look for Happy Appy on TV. Even though it sounds idiotic to look for a show on the channel it was banned from, I felt like it was worth a shot. I woke myself up when Nick Jr. started and watched for a while, hoping to see something relating to Happy Appy. It all went pretty normal, playing stuff like Dora the Explorer and Yo Gabba Gabba, when a new bumper aired. A woman's voice said, "and now, we have something special to show you! Please welcome, for the first time in a decade, Happy Appy!" It was excited. What if it was a new episode? Unfortunately...it was just the school episode again. Even though I was disappointed, I was still elated to see an episode of Happy Appy on the air. At that point, though, I had only one question: why did the episode air at all if the show was banned? Did a new employee mistakenly air the episode without knowing the history behind it? Did someone deliberately air it? If it was deliberate, why Happy Appy? Was it Retro Day at Nick Jr. and some CEO allowed a showing of Happy Appy just for one time? Or...did someone know about my research blog, and to help me they pulled some strings to air an episode?
I've got two things to tell you. First, I'll try to make one post at least every day, all the way until I quit researching Happy Appy. Second, I'm keeping track of the episodes. Here are my guesses for the episode list so far. Anything with parenthesis is to hypothesize or describe the episode better.
I know there are only fourteen episodes mentioned here, but as of this post I know nothing about the other nine.
I was on Youtube when I came across a Happy Appy video. It was named "The Happy Dance" and was a promo that aired on Noggin back in the day. It showed Happy, moving around like he was breakdancing. The music was slightly distorted, but it had someone making and failing at beatbox noises. Accompanying it was some lyrics on how to do the Happy Dance.
Do the Happy Dance!
Jump to the left, jump to the left, jump to the left, jump to the left!
Now jump to the right, jump to the right, jump to the right, jump to the right!
Now get down and scoot to your left,
Scoot to your left, scoot to your left, scoot to your left!
Now scoot to your right, scoot to your right, scoot to your right, scoot to your right!
Do the Happy Dance!
After that, it said, "Watch Happy Appy every Monday at 8AM!" and the video ended. I know it isn't a new episode, but it's a cute little thing I found anyway.
As I was looking over some old posts today, I noticed a draft I'd saved. Normally I wouldn't save any drafts unless I had to finish a post on another day, so this stuck out as odd to me. I opened it and found that Forenzik had somehow gotten into my blog! I'm guessing he used a keylogger, but anything's possible. Here are the contents:
Hello there, my good friends! Are you feeling well today? Good, because Gerasim is not here today. Instead, you will be getting a post from his "favorite" friend, Forenzik F. Forenzik!
Life's pretty good from where I'm standing. I've killed a lot of people now. This year alone, I've killed Kevin Christianson and Tristan Yae! Amazing, isn't it? Well, just you wait! Once I'm done with Jim Forester, I'll kill Gerasim, and it ain't going to be pretty! What will I choose to kill him? Will it be the good old knife to the head? Maybe I'll pick a slow, painful torture! I might not mentally scar him, but it IS in the question! Oh, the possibilities are endless! But now there's a big question I will answer. What will I do with Gerasim's body? Will I
It ends there. Why did he leave mid-sentence? Did his internet break down? Was he noticing I was starting to wake up? Maybe he got booted off somehow? I don't really know. All I know is that Forenzik tried to post on my blog, and I'm NOT happy. However, there was a sound clip left on the blog post. It was a three minute sound clip of static, with some voices talking here and there. I'll try to decide it later.
Today, the person who uploaded the Kevin Christianson interview on Youtube added a new one. This time, it was Jim Forester being interviewed. He worked on some of the scripts for Happy Appy, including Nate Needs Help.
Interviewer: So, were you one of the scriptwriters for Happy Appy?
JF: Unfortunately, yes.
Interviewer: Do you know what happened to Happy Appy?
JF: Well, we actually managed to pull off a third of the first season just fine without any complaints whatsoever. We were all ready to begin the rest when we were cancelled.
Interviewer: Why was the show canceled?
JF: An accident happened.
Interviewer: Wait, wait, an accident happened? What kind of accident could cause a show's cancellation?
JF: During a break we did to get the employees some rest time, we made a joke episode for fun. The episode in question had two smoldering towers, which were on fire. Looking at it now, it reminds me way too much of 9/11. The episode was aired because someone managed to sneak a tape and broadcast it on Noggin. And, poof. The show was cancelled. Good riddance.
Interviewer: Do you know who broadcasted it?
JF: Uh, no. The only person I could think would broadcast it is...argh, I forgot his name. It's been ten years, you know?
Interviewer: I can understand, Jim. Anyway, there's one last question. Who was the director of the show?
JF: I don't know who the director was, but I can tell you one thing. He's most likely dead.
Today, I found a couple torrents for episodes of Happy Appy. They had the episodes "Mean Miranda" and "Happy's Van Breaks." Mean Miranda's plot was about boys around the ages of 6-8 being bullied by a teenage girl named Miranda. Happy gives the kids bandages and advice to help them. He kept getting progressively angrier as the episode went on, starting from being slightly irritated to being extremely pissed off. At the end, Happy Appy coldly says "Bully one more kid and you will get a surprise, Miranda!" She, almost mockingly, kicks a boy in the leg. Happy Appy gets in his van and drives it at her. Right before it runs over Miranda, the episode cuts to the credits, with promos for Franklin and Blue's Clues.
Happy's Van Breaks starts with the intro and immediately goes into the episode. Happy is putting a bandage on a kid's bruise when he notices that his van's engine is billowing smoke. He runs to it and notices that a part of the van's engine broke. Happy steals a mechanic's toolbox and gets to work on the engine. When Happy Appy works on the engine, a kid kicks a soccer ball and it accidentally bounces off of Happy's head. Angered, he gets a wrench, runs off-screen, and beats the kid to death with it. He goes back and repairs the engine, replaces the coolant, and changes the oil. While helping more kids around the playground, the mechanic notices his toolbox was stolen. In response, he breaks Happy's engine. Happy gets pissed and chases the mechanic in a POV shot. Eventually, Happy grabs the mechanic and stabs the back of his head with a screwdriver several times before the episode cuts out. Oddly, the chase scene didn't have Happy's actual hands in it, but someone's arms painted red.
So, here's the updated episode list:
Remember when I got those tapes from the now-demolished studios? Well, I bought a small projector so that I could play the tapes and finally view them. There were even more changes than before that I couldn't see without the projector, too! Here's a list of what I noticed:
Also, guess who I saw today! It was Forenzik, as usual. Unlike most times, I got a good look at part of his face under the mask. Long story short, he might actually be a human. Might.
I was searching up torrents again and found an in-tact copy of the bonus features for the Happy Appy Movie. Visually, it didn't look great. It was a simple menu with a white background. There was one bonus feature: "Creating a Happy Appy Episode." It was around 30 minutes long and, like the title said, showed the making of a new episode that wasn't released, called "Happy Meets the Rhubears." It's a crossover with Aphex Twin. According to someone in the video, the episode would have been somewhere in season 2. Here's what happens, according to the clips shown:
To be honest, I don't think Aphex Twin being in a kids' show is as weird as, say, Jack Black in Sesame Street. That's just me, though.
Okay, there are two things I want to talk about. First, I've heard a rumor that there's an actual episode of season 2 in-tact. It's a very incomplete restoration by a fan, about 15% complete. I'm just going to say this now, but why would this show have fans? I can understand liking some of the more appropriate episodes, but... anyway, the rumor states it was the very first episode of season 2, called "Camp Aaah." In it, it starts with the intro, with some differences. Happy didn't dance - instead, it showed clips of the main characters. The intro was compared to CSI, actually. As for the characters shown, they are Happy himself, a man in a ski mask called Napoeon, and a little boy named Danny. I have a weird feeling that Napoleon could be Forenzik in a different outfit. Anyway. Rumors state it cuts to a scene with Happy Appy in his van, and two girls are in the passenger seats. The girls are only clay apple heads on sticks with no arms or stems. After driving for a while, the van parks at a camp. Happy gets a washcloth, and he and the girls sit on it. For a while, they sit on the cloth while staring at the sky. After a few seconds, another apple appears that looks like a stereotypical beach jock. Happy says, "Move it, ladies", although the quality makes it sound like "Movie it, leddys."
As for the second thing.... Happy Appy doesn't have an IMDb page. The page some people are mistaking it for is a separate TV show called "the Happy Apple." I could understand why people would think it was related to Happy Appy - some of the foreign titles (like the dubbed version I saw in 2000) translate directly to "Happy Apple". The Happy Apple, though, is a show from the 1980s. How can you confuse a TV show from the 80s about an insurance company with a Noggin TV show from the 90s that has imagery of 9/11 in it? And don't even get me started on Appaloosa horses.
Just don't.
I finished cleaning up the sound clip. Well... When I began to decode it, I heard static with odd noises here and there. I tried reversing it, changing the pitch, slowing the speed, and adding volume. I had some success doing that, too. At first, it was the sound of Happy Appy laughing. It wasn't a regular laugh, but one that made it sound like he was injured. Soon after that, Happy began screaming and you could hear someone else laughing. Like Happy, it sounded like the person laughing was injured in some way. I could guess it's a child struggling against a murderous Happy Appy, but it could be damn near anybody and anything happening.
After 16 pages of a Google search, I found someone who said they were a member of the staff who made Happy Appy. I was excited, so I got their address so I could meet them in person. It took a long time to find them because the directions they gave required me to go through a lonely dirt road and I thought I would get my shoes dirty. Hey, can't be too cautious, can I? Anyway, I was at an angle where I could see someone standing near his house. I was right about to yell out to them, but I looked closer and freaked out. It was Forenzik, standing near the house, behind the corner of a building I was about to pass. I don't know why Forenzik had set this up, but he is definitely out to get me. He was still looking at the way I was supposed to have come through and quickly checking his watch, so he didn't see me yet. He WAS a human!
He was wearing this weird mask that looked like a happy baby. The mouth would often move, giving the impression that he was literally a baby face. His arms were bone skinny and it looked like he needed to put on a little more than 20 pounds to be considered barely underweight. He started getting more and more nervous, I think he was thinking I wasn't going to show up. What was also of note was that near the house, there was a van very similar to the one that Happy drove. I ran off and went back to my house to tell you about this near-death experience, since it'll probably happen more and more often.
Since I was freaked out by Forenzik and it's nearing 9/11, I re-watched the Towers episode again. When I played it, I heard that faint whining noise in the background of the "famous" scene" and I instantly recognized it as a much quieter version of that sound clip I was talking about two days ago. I don't know why that was playing in there, but it was. I still can't imagine what could match that audio clip.
I finally figured out what that sound clip is of! When I was getting my groceries, it came to me that the voice that wasn't Happy's sounded a lot like Forenzik. Quickly, I came up with the idea that the sound clip must have been Forenzik fighting with Happy Appy. I don't know why he would fight Happy, an inanimate clay puppet, unless he had some sort of mental condition. While I was on my way home, I saw a police car with its lights on and sirens blaring, so I followed it. When the police car stopped, I saw the cops leave the car quickly and run after a thin figure that had droped a gun and something red. It was none other than the Happy Appy puppet, with some dirt on it. I could have sworn I saw Happy's mouth moving, but I was so freaked out that I wasn't sure if it actually was or not. Suddenly, it came to me that if this figurine was the one I owned, Forenzik must have broken into my house! Before the police came back, I got into my car and went back home. Thankfully, everything was fine, but one of the front windows was opened. Once I got in, I shut the window and looked for the Happy Appy puppet, which I had put in the living room. It was nowhere to be found!
First thing I'm going to do tomorrow morning is go and buy a nice knife.
I'm not sure how, but maybe the audio of Forenzik and Happy was planned to be in a future episode of Happy Appy, and got mixed up while they were putting the sound and music in for the Towers. Was Forenzik around while Happy Appy was being made, and put himself into one of the episodes because he was part of the staff? Did he get so much infamy during that time that the producers decided he was the perfect material to mock? I still can't put this together. There's some good news about Forenzik, though. To quote from today's newspaper:
A crazed maniac was arrested last night after a robbery at a firearms store, a home break-in, use of firearms without a permit, linkage to various murders, and evading arrest.
Some day, I ask myself why I chose to get involved with Happy Appy.
Well, tomorrow is going to be the tenth year since 9/11. Oh, joy. In all seriousness, I have too many thoughts in my head right now. Will I be visited by Forenzik again, or will I be murdered in my sleep? Will my house burn down again, or will I have a normal day for once? I'm not going to make a post on September 11th, but I will on September 12th. Oh, and here's another revision of the list, with season 2's unreleased episodes and the duets properly listed.
Season 1:
Season 2:
I know I said I wasn't going to make a post today, but I really had to get this post out. Last night, a certain someone went on my computer. Luckily, the only thing that Forenzik did was add three photos, a notepad file, and a badly-distorted sound clip. The images and notepad file were made today, from 2:20AM-2:30AM, while the sound clip was created on July 14th of this year. All the images look like they were made using Paint, had the filename "image1," "image2," and "image3." All were badly drawn. Considering that Forenzik wears a mask and has long, skinny fingers not fit to use a mouse properly, I knew they wouldn't be in good quality.
The first image was Happy Appy smiling against a dark red background, a knife in one hand. The words "THAT'S NATURAL, CHILDREN" were around him. The second image is the only one that does not show something. It is, in fact, a portion of the song "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Ha!" I seriously want to know what the connection is between Napoleon XIV and Happy Appy / Forenzik. Is it that they're both disturbing to listen to? Or is there something I don't understand? Anyway, the last image is more notable than the rest. It shows Forenzik standing in front of a black background, with the words "I'LL FIND YOU" in red. The reason this is the most notable is that it shows Forenzik's long, pale neck, grey clothes, and his unusual mask. It's actually better quality than the photo I took of him, though the drawing is quite bland. The notepad file contained another gibberish string of letters.
ADVMETOVPTMTCNZHQMDTTZSME
Why do I keep seeing these gibberish strings? Are they a secret code of some sort that Forenzik wants me to crack?
Also, the sound clip. It starts with a bunch of ambience that sounds like it would belong in a factory. There was metal banging, steam blowing, all that stuff. It might be possible that some of it is just distortion. In the background, I hear a person walking, kicking over an empty tin can or something. After this, there's a voice that sounds like someone beginning to say "Stop!" before it goes to static for the rest of the clip. My best guess is that this clip could be Forenzik killing someone. Looking at the date the file was made, though... The 12th of July. Could this sound file be related to Tristan Yae? I somewhat doubt it, but something really irks me about it...
Today was one of the worst days I have ever had. At the same time, it was also one of the best. It all started when I was coming home after getting late-night groceries last night. I noticed Forenzik was crossing the road to my house. Knowing he would try to burn my house down again or steal something, I sped up and had the car ram him at full force. I heard a couple of bones breaking and I knew I must have injured or possibly killed him. So I grabbed a flashlight and got out of my car. To my surprise, I couldn't find Forenzik, though he made a trail of blood which pointed to where he went. I followed the blood. The trail led me to the nearby forest a couple miles out of town. I had doubts about this. Forenzik had run off into the woods and is probably ready to attack me if I go too deep into it. I put those thoughts aside, since I knew I had to kill Forenzik In one way or another. I got my knife from my car and went into the forest. The blood stopped at a dirt trail and a few meters away from it was a sign. The letters were faded, but I shined a light on the sign and was just able to make out the words "John Wilkinson Summer Camp."
The John Wilkinson Summer Camp opened up in 1996. The owner of the camp was, unsurprisingly, John Wilkinson, a 35 year-old man who had a mild case of schizophrenia. For years, it was a very popular summer camp. Kids kept coming to it, with some coming all the way from Maine and the United Kingdom. Unfortunately, in 2004, John Wilkinson's worsening schizophrenia reached a peak and at around 2 in the morning, John got an axe, went into the log cabins, and killed six children before disappearing into the woods. The summer camp closed down and the case remains cold to this day. I went up the dirt road to the summer camp, which was in an overgrown grove. Over the years, the summer camp deteriorated, letting various moss and fungus grow on the rotting wood of the old cabins. I went into A first (just for reference: the cabin series are A [16-18 year olds], B [13-15 year olds], C [10-12 year olds], and D [7-9 year olds]). It looked like a regular cabin, minus the fact that blood was on the walls, beds were unmade, and some of the wood was rotting. There was an axe stuck on the wall. Obviously, since an axe is better than a knife, I took it. I went to B and axed the door down. It was the same as A, minus the axe.
C was the same. Finally, I axed down D's door. As I walked in, I noticed the sound of a generator running. Knowing this room was different from the rest, I found a light switch and turned on the lights. I wish I hadn't. When the light flickered on, I was horrified at what I saw. On the walls at the back of the cabin were the mutilated bodies of Kevin Christianson, Tristan Yae, and Miranda, held up by meat hooks. I was completely paralyzed in fear for a minute. My breathing became more rapid, my heart sped up, and I started sweating. Behind me, I heard an all-too-familiar slithering voice with what sounded like an East Coast accent. "Do ya like mah trophies?" I jumped at the sudden voice and sharply turned around. It was none other than Forenzik, with a dull and rusty butcher knife. He was wearing a black butcher's robe, heavy winter clothing, and of course...his trademark mask. "Go on, Gerasim. Go on and take a closer look at mah trophies. Ya know ya wanna, out of ya sick, morbid, but somehow natural curiosity."
When he said that, I was both horrified and intrigued. Even though I had a paralyzing fear, I walked up slowly to the body of Kevin Christianson. His body had three slice marks across his chest, half of the skin on his face was gone, and various nails were rammed into his body in such graphic ways that I can't describe it. His jaw was positioned to make it look like he was laughing at something. I had to stop Forenzik from killing any more people in this horrible way. There was a half-broken mirror next to Kevin's body. I picked it up with my shaking hands and saw Forenzik sitting down in a chair, preparing to sharpen the rusty knife with a large grinding wheel. "So!" Forenzik cheerfully said. "Ya found me at last. Congratulations, Gerasim! Ya deserve an award. Do ya wanna know what it is, hmmm?"
"What the hell did you do with them?" I yelled. Even though it wasn't what Forenzik was expecting, it seemed like the only thing I could say to him. "Well, since ya asked... I, Forenzik F. Forenzik, will tell ya what he did," Forenzik said as he got up to stretch his arms. "But first, I'll tell ya the reward. It's a knife to the throat!" He laughed, which turned from a somewhat girly giggle to a psychopathic laugh. After catching his breath, he spoke again. "To put a long story short, dey were people who had annoyed me, to a certain extent. First off, Kevin Christianson deserved his natural fate because he kept calling me slow and retarded. I, personally, got offended by that! So, when ya were still watching those ten episodes, I managed to find and kill him. I watched ya enter the house with that photo of Happy Appy in the bushes." After that, he sat down again and kept sharpening that knife. I could barely ask the next question, "What about Tristan and Miranda?"
"Ugh, don't mention Tristan Yae. He was a foolish little kid who was the voice of Happy Appy. I don't know why they got a teenager to voice Happy Appy, even though I should have done it! It feels natural, wouldn't you say/ Also, he was much ruder than Christianson, but not as bad as Miranda. So, who told ya about Tristan's death? Was it Jim forester? Hm, was it?" I was shocked but I slowly nodded my head. Forenzik put the now-sharpened knife to one side and began to sharpen another dull knife. Suddenly, he spoke in a rather deadpan voice. "Ah, I know he'd tell ya about his death. I mean, ya do report the deaths of the team behind Happy Appy, right?" I slowly nodded my head again. He sighed and said, "Well, I guess that's okay with me. Tell the world that the people behind a once-famous Nickelodeon show are dying!" Forenzik slouched over and sighed again. He perked up and said, worriedly, "Oh, I got distracted! Almost forgot about Miranda! Well, ya see, Happy Appy didn't kill her with his van in that episode. She got killed off for a while since she was very rude and kept insulting me, prompting me to HIT HER EVERY TIME SHE MADE FUN OF ME, AND QUITE FRANKLY SHE DESERVED IT IN THE END!" The sudden tone shift made me jump a little. It didn't help that he laughed like an absolute maniac.
"Ah, I got distracted again. After the episode, Happy Appy and I killed her as a natural, beautiful team. Now that I've told you their fates, go ahead. Get closer to the bodies. Closer! CLOSER!" The tone of Forenzik's voice at the last word made me jump a bit. Hearing him, a very deadpan serial killer, scream at me like that was shocking. The problem was that I was still paralyzed in fear quite a bit, so I couldn't move as fast as he wanted me to. "Come on, Gerasim. Stop fucking around! You don't want to end up like they did, right? Just GO AND GET CLOSER TO THE BODIES! NOW, GOD DAMN IT!" Again I jumped. This time, Forenzik jumped out of the chair and started forcibly pushing me toward Tristan's body. I heard him begin to growl in fury. Tristan was as disfigured as Kevin was. He had the same slice marks, but in the abdominal area instead. His facial skin was also gone, but in a sloppier way than Kevin's. He was also appearing to laugh, but it was more forced, like Forenzik dug his hands into the jaw and forced it open. I had one more thing to say to Forenzik before I planned to end this, though. "Um...about that sound file you left on my computer. The one that sounded like it was in a factory. What was that?"
"Oh, it was me killing Tristan. Don't ask why, but I love to record people's death cries as I kill them. It's so natural to me, if you will." He muttered something I could barely hear, but I could make out enough to tell what he was saying. "Damn, I need to stop saying natural." He looked back to me and replied again. "Now that you've seen Kevin's and Tristan's bodies, how about ya see Miranda's? It's the best, in my opinion, since she DESERVED HER FATE THE MOST!" Again, I jumped. I moved to her body, just so I wouldn't be screamed at by Forenzik again and possibly piss him off enough that he would murder me. Unlike the others, Miranda was barely recognizeable. Pieces of her flesh and organs had bite marks in them, and her limbs were dismembered. Again, she looked like she was laughing, but this time it was harder to tell at a glance. I still had the broken mirror and noticed Forenzik was slowly holding up the second knife he sharpened, likely to stab me in the back. Forenzik spoke. "Well, now that you've got all of ya questions answered, it's time for ya to go."
"NO!" I screamed, taking out the axe and striking his left arm. He laughed in half-agony, half-enjoyment while I chopped it off. After doing that, I ran out of the house, leaving the axe with him. Outside, I found a can of gasoline. I dumped it all over the house as fast as I could. When I was finished, Forenzik broke out of the stupor I'd left him in. Realizing what I was doing, he grabbed whatever he could and ran into the woods. I got a match and burned the cabin down. For a moment, I felt satisfied destroying Forenzik's hideout in the same way he destroyed my former house.
The local police are, for the most part, assholes. Even though I work for them, when I tried to tell the officers about Forenzik, most of them dismissed the story, claiming it never happened. One of the officers did believe my story, albeit reluctantly. At least someone at work believes me. However, due to money issues, I'm going to take a month-long break from Happy Appy. I expect to return some time in October. See you guys then.
Hey guys, I'm back! I should let you all know that any rumors regarding my break are all false. I didn't see Forenzik at all during the break, which made my life easier. Also, I'll try to find more episodes of Happy Appy. I promise.
-Gerasim
Today, I went to a flea market and realized I could be looking for Happy Appy episodes in the VHS section. After looking through a whole lot of things obscure, homemade, and well-known, I found a VHS with a rushed label that said, "Happy Appy Goes to the Circus." Since I buy almost anything Happy Appy related, I bought it. After driving home, I put the tape into my VHS player and found it had some pretty bad deterioration since the episode was recorded. Some parts of the episode were taped over with Blue's Clues, and what wasn't taped over had very low quality audio and video. The title is the plot in a nutshell, though. Happy Appy goes to a traveling circus and helps kids who get hurt. The episode starts out with Happy Appy buying a ticket to see the Banana Brothers' Traveling Circus.
After buying popcorn and a drink, he gets into a seat and the show begins. Unfortunately, half the scene was replaced with part of a Blue's Clues episode or plain static, but the show scene was pretty bad either way. Happy Appy was already low budget as it is, but this scene was by far the laziest thing that ever came out of its production. The bulky strings were visible during stunts, models were very rushed, the camera wasn't focused properly, and someone's head was visible in a scene where it shouldn't have been. After around three minutes, it goes to the intermission. Happy Appy throws his trash away when he hears a kid crying. He walks to where he thought the cry came from and discovers a kid who hit his head on the bleachers. Happy heals him using bandages and an ce pack, and the kid thanks him. Then, Happy Appy realizes the trapeze act, the Flying Apples, has a missing member. Happy sees this as an opportunity to make him more popular with everyone, especially the children. He dresses as Aaron Apple (the other four were Abraham, Adam, Andrew, and Auburn) and talks to the rest of the act about how late he was.
The second half of the show begins and the first act is, unsurprisingly, the Flying Apples. Unlike the rest of the circus scenes, the trapeze act was pretty decently made. It was like the entire budget of the episode was spent on making the Flying Apples part look good. After that, more of those God awful circus scenes played - though the clown scene was somewhat funny - and the circus show ends. The Banana Brothers thank the kids for visiting the circus. Later, the Flying Apples meet the Banana Brothers and they tell the Flying Apples how well they had done in the trapeze act. After that, Happy is seen walking out when he notices a kid getting bullied by a bandaged girl. Happy gets closer and guess who's bullying the kid? Miranda! Miranda tells Happy Appy that she has a knife on her. The video cuts out, but the audio keeps playing. This was probably a good thing, since Miranda began to scream while Happy began to chop her up with a knife, laughing.
Today, I'm going to try to answer a massive question about Happy Appy. Why does he murder kids? I might have an answer for once. You see, after I went to that employee's house I saw Forenzik at, I had two ideas. Did Forenzik kill that employee, or was that employee actually Forenzik? I think the most likely answer is the latter. Another question arises after that, though. Who exactly is Forenzik? I can say a few things about this question, though it probably doesn't change much. He isn't Kevin Christianson, Tristan Yae, or possibly Jim Forester, but I can't confirm his identity beyond that. You might be saying that severed arm has Forenzik's blood and fingerprints, but.... I didn't keep the arm. I made the foolish mistake of leaving it back at that summer camp. Even if I did keep it, Forenzik keeps coming back, so there could be a lot of people posing as him instead of just the one guy I spoke to that night. What did all of that have to do with the original question, though? Well, Forenzik might have edited the episodes to show these horrifying scenes. It makes sense for Forenzik to be an employee of that studio, as he would have access to the props and tapes. Though...now there are even more questions.
Here are my guesses to the answers of those questions. They'll change if I get more evidence, of course.
Today, Jim Forester (who is, surprisingly, still alive) told me the names of more people who helped work on Happy Apy, which puts me a bit closer to whom Forenzik could be. First, there's Terry Drews, the man who created the last designs of the Happy Appy puppet. After hearing about the string of deaths associated with people who worked on Happy Appy, Tristan went into hiding. He's still alive, but goes under a different name that Jim didn't know. Second, there's John Tresti, the man who created the music for Happy Appy. He was a musician who specialized in keyboards, synthesizers, and song production. After releasing his debut album "Hidalgo" (which, to this day, is hard to find), he was called to work on Happy Appy's title theme. Though some parts of the story of the creation process are missing, John basically gathered five kindergarten students and had them sign the Happy Appy lyrics. After that, he made the backing synthesizer track, combined the two, and previewed the result to Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon approved the song and John kept his job, due to Hidalgo being a failure to sell. He's also still alive.
Finally, there's John Wilkinson. Yes, I'm not lying. John Wilkinson actually worked on Happy Appy. He wrote three of the episodes. I swear, I really think Forenzik isn't John Wilkinson, but... Since the man's schizophrenic, has killed people, and worked on Happy Appy, I really can't stop making that connection.
Today, a package was delivered to me. It was a DVD called "Happy Appy's Bonus Features!" I tried to play the disc, but it didn't work at all. The video was corrupted, and the audio consisted of five swooshy noises and a weird voice. I tried to mess with the audio to see if I could get anything out of it. After half an hour of playing with various audio tools, the noise turned out to be a kid talking to the listener.
Don't trust Happy Appy.
He has friends that will kill you.
Never come with him into his van.
Someone sent me a video of the first part of the "true" Happy Appy Movie. Apparently, the movie I got hold of was either fake or a multi-part series of episodes spliced together as one big thing. The movie started up with a different opening. The song playing was the opening song of "2001: A Space Odyssey." The logo said, "Noggin Presents: The Happy Appy Movie." The first scene had Happy in his long coat, putting a bandage on a cut on a girl's arm. "Today, I'm scared, Lily," said Happy. Lily asked why, but Happy just said, "He is coming and no one can stop him." I wondered who exactly the person Happy mentioned was. Was it Forenzik? Seven other kids came running over and, in the background, policemen were running over to the playground where Happy and the kids were. For a couple of minutes, multiple policemen were yelling at Happy. Finally, the sheriff came out of a car and said "Stop, in the name of the law! I know you've murdered Miranda, Tuck, and Gina!" Happy grabs another needs with green fluid from his long coat and stabs the sheriff in the eye with it, laughing like a maniac. In response, the cops take out their sidearms and shoot Happy to death. His bullet-riddled body fell to the ground, while kids began to walk over and cry over him. The police left, knowing they finally dealt with Happy.
This is where the whole thing gets really bizarre. Happy was suddenly revived and stood up. The kids ran away screaming. Happy took out another knife and started to chase Lily in a POV shot. After 30 seconds, Happy grabbed her and broke her neck. The snap that resulted was enough for me to stop the video for a while. I resumed later, and the camera cut to the rest of the kids running away from Happy Appy. Happy got in his van and drove after a little boy. As soon as I saw the boy, I recognized him as Danny from the Camp Aaah intro. Given his significance there, could Danny be the one Happy was talking about earlier? Anyway, one of the girls yelled, "Danny, no!" Danny picked up a lit cigarette that fell from the sheriff's mouth, got into the van, and burned Happy's face, leaving a black burn on his left cheek. Happy screams and Danny runs off. It cuts to Happy chasing Danny in his van. Danny opens the door again, climbs into the passenger seat, and tries to distract Happy. Eventually, Happy crashes the van into a tree and Danny gets thrown out. Happy climbs out and picks up a sharp stick off the ground. It cuts to Danny, waking up and picking up Happy's dropped knife. After that, it faded to black.
I sent a message to the man who made the torrent, asking if he had part 2. He said yes, that it would be done rendering (something about the filesize being too big before?) so he could send it tomorrow. I guess I'll just have to wait.
I just finished watching the Happy Appy movie, and holy hell it was weird. However, I did find something that will interest you. But I'll get to that after the description of the movie. The second half starts with Danny running into a junkyard. He hid in a car and it cuts to a girl in the playground, playing with a tin can. Happy Appy slowly crept up to her and the girl screams, then he stabs the girl to death with the stick. He runs off to get into his van. After driving a while, he reaches the junkyard. Happy gets out and looks around, yelling for Danny. Danny jumps into the van, Happy swears, and Danny runs him over. He jumps out and the van pushes Happy into a car crusher. It crushes Happy and the van. A horrifying crushed car cube comes out with Happy's skin, "blood", and organs all over the fragments of the front. A woman comes out of the cockpit and Danny says, "Thank you, June!" She says "Thank you for telling me and dad about Happy's rage." I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted the movie to end.
I was wrong. Oh, I was so, so wrong. Another Happy peeks out from behind an old car and boastfully says "Oh, did you really think I was going to die like that to a kid? If you thought so, you were wrong!" The credits start. Because of visual artifacting, I could only make out a few names in the credits.
Director - Tristen Yap
Producers - Keith Blue and Joanne Broope
Happy Appy - Tristan Yae
Danny - Ray Bollia
After all this time, I've found the identity of the director of Happy Appy. Maybe even Forenzik, too! I'll need to research more about this guy.
Have a safe and happy Halloween, everyone. Knowing Forenzik, I know I probably won't! Anyway, today I got a package in the mail. Taped to it was an envelope with a letter inside. The letter read like this:
To Mr. Yakolev,
During a recent investigation of Kevin Christianson's house, I found a damaged journal that seems to be related to the show your blog is talking about. I hope it will help you find out more information about "Happy Appy."Sincerely,
Officer Robert Newport
I opened the package and inside was a 70-page notebook. However, most of the pages had been torn out. Here are the entries left inside, in chronological order:
February 9, 1999
I finally got a job at Nickelodeon yesterday! So far, I have been put on a possible Nickelodeon project that is still in pre-production as I write this entry. I will write more soon.February 25, 1999
I've been put out of the project to work on Rugrats. The plot of the planned show, which was called "Attack of the Killer Apples," was a knock-off of the movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. The problem was that almost no one liked the idea, including me.March 1, 1999
Guess what? I've heard that the apple show is going to see the light of day! The man who's going to help produce the show, Keith Blue, did some Claymation commercials for Noggin. Since they're some of the most popular commercials on Noggin, the creator asked for him to work on the show.March 11, 1999
I overheard a rumor that we're filming at the old stage where Double Dare used to be filmed. Sounds pretty cool to me!March 23, 1999
I want to leave this project now. You see, today I was eating lunch when I saw some sick fucker dragging in Happy's voice actor, Tristan. The kid's in his late teens, but has a pretty deep voice. We started filming tests like Happy in his van and practicing lines. The guy who dragged Tristan in shouted action. A weird country song started playing on the radio in the van. I shouted to the guy that had brought Tristan here "What the fuck did you do to Tristan?" He jumped over a coffee table and [the rest of the page, as well as all further pages except for the last, is torn away]January 2, 2011
Today, I remembered two things about Happy Appy: the show's original air dates and some facts. I don't know why I'm thinking about this anymore.Air Dates:
- Nick Jr. / Noggin: April 26, 1999 - June 3, 1999
- Pre-TV (UK Channel): May 16, 1999 - March 31, 2000
- Brazil (Unsure where): November 30, 1999 - February 1, 2000
Facts:
- Happy Appy had a scrapped DVD release.
- The director was tall and mid-weight.
- The director went by the name Fred.
So it turns out that the director wasn't Tristen Yap after all. I'm left wondering who he is now, but I have no clues yet.
I finally did it. I killed Forenzik and found a shocking discovery. At least I think I did. You see, I was driving home at around midnight when I saw Forenzik running away from Jim's house. Knowing he might have grazed, injured, or killed Jim, I parked my car on the sidewalk and ran into Jim's house with my knife. I looked around the house, but I couldn't find Jim or Forenzik. During this, I took a shotgun from the living room so I could better arm myself. After checking everywhere else, I went into the basement. I saw what looked like Jim's bleeding body sitting on the floor of the basement. I ran to him, thinking he was dead. However, he wasn't. He said to me, "Oh, Jesus, Gerasim, don't scare me like that!" I responded with, "Sorry, Jim. Did you know that F-" Jim interrupted me, saying, "Yeah, I know what's going on! I heard Forenzik or whoever the hell he is break into my house! That's why I stained my best clothes with ketchup!" I heard someone open the door on the floor above, and I loaded the gun. After telling Jim I'd be back soon, I ran up the stairs. I saw Forenzik, cornered him, and shot him in the chest.
For a second, I thought I might have finally killed him. However, someone looking just like him came up behind me and tried to stab me in the back with a knife. I shot him in the chest just like the first guy. I thoguht I had killed them both, but the second person tried to make a run for it. However, his injuries made him collapse before he could run out of the house. I went to the phone and called the police, but as I looked around I noticed the first Forenzik was missing. As I went back to the cellar to make sure Jim was alright, I noticed a USB drive lying on a bookshelf. I grabbed it. When I saw Jim was alright, I told him about the USB drive and where I'd found it. He said to me, "That's odd. I don't remember owning a USB drive like that. Makes me wonder what's in it." After a long wait, the police arrived. Thankfully, Newport believed me when I told him what happened. I'm just going to say this, but i'm honestly starting to feel like he believes me!
Anyway, after I got home, I put the USB drive in my computer (yes, stupid decision, I know). It had only one file, called "Instructions." It was a minute long video of one of the Forenziks, saying the phrase "In your pillow will be," over and over. In your pillow will be...what? I opened my pillow. Inside, there was a switchblade, my wallet (which was missing a $20 bill I'd put in there), and a DVD with the words, "Happy Appy Complete Series," with labels indicating it had season one AND season two. First of all, WHAT THE HELL?! I could understand it having season 1, clear as day, but who made season 2? Could someone have made more episodes that toned down the violence? Were the episodes darker? Better yet, who made these? Jim? Kevin? Maybe even Forenzik? It has to be Forenzik. But now, I'm not sure. I'm only watching the episodes because they're Happy Appy.
I talked to Jim about the DVD. His response was, "Well, that's very odd. Who in their right mind would make two complete seasons of the show?" He added that he wanted to see the new season as well. Tomorrow, we're going to go through and see the missing episodes of season 1, as well as viewing all of season 2. Also, another interview was uploaded to Youtube. This time, it was an interview with Tristan Yae.
Inteviewer: Tristan Yae?
TY: That's me.
Interviewer: How old were you when Fright Night Screamers was around?
TY: 15.
Interviewer: What happened when you did Happy's voice on the first day?
TY: When I recorded my lines on the first two minisodes, Happy's Vacation and Hurt Happy, I did notice some odd things with the script. In Hurt Happy, he ate an apple, which was weird considering he was, well, an apple.
Interviewer: What was the worst thing that happened to you when you were on the show?
TY: I don't like to discuss with people about it, but here it goes. I was once dragged into the studios by a tall man holding a rope, which was tied around my feet. After an argument, we filmed more episodes.
Interviewer: That's horrifying, to say the least. Do you know who dragged you in?
TY: I don't remember. The only thing I remember about him was that he was taller than most of us.
This will be the first of three posts detailing Jim and I watching the contents of the DVD. Even though we are watching the disc, I still can't get over the fact that there's another season of Happy Appy. I just can't. As soon as the DVD loaded, we saw that it had a freeware DVD burner menu. Obviously, whoever made the disc did it as cheaply as possible. I went to the episode menu and looked through the episodes for season one, in case there were any that I missed. The two distorted episodes for season 1 were actually watchable, and were named.
I pressed next and found the entire episode list for season 2 after that.
Judging from the names, we could only guess that Forenzik made these. I played Happy at the Fruit Olympics, since that was one of the two episodes of season 1 that I didn't get to watch. It began with Happy Appy saying "Hey kids! The Fruit Olympics begins today!" and watching TV. It zooms to the television set and shows a recreation of the Olympic torch relay, but with fruit people. After the torch holder (an apple) lights the Olympic Flame, the games begin. It's a cheesy compilation of sports played in the Olympics, but with fruit people It reminded me of the circus episode's act 1 scene, but visually a lot better. Happy turns to the camera and says, "Hey kids1 The 2000 Olympics will begin in a year! You should go see it!" and the episode ends. When it ended, Jim told me he remembered helping film the episode and even did a few of the puppets with Kevin Christianson and Terry Drews. Happy in Space was next, and it was horrific. It starts out with Happy Appy sneaking onto a space shuttle as he turns to the camera and says, "Hey kids! Your old pal, Happy Appy, is going into space today!" and then waits. The shuttle docks at a lookalike of the International Space Station. After all the astronauts leave, Happy sneaks out of the shuttle and starts floating. He says, "Did you know that in outer space, there is no gravity, meaning you float in mid-air?" He puts on a spacesuit and goes out of the "ISS." An astronaut is working on a broken part of the station.
Happy says, "In space, no one can hear you talk, or scream for that matter!" and stabs the astronaut. We see him float off into space for about a minute. After this, Happy goes back in and finds out that the shuttle is about to leave. Happy jumps into the space shuttle. The shuttle begins to enter the atmosphere. Happy turns to the camera and says "Hey kids! Watch this magic trick!" and sets a man on fire. The shuttle starts to catch on fire, which is exactly like the scene in Happy's Trick! We see Happy Appy give that evil smile as the shuttle is engulfed in flames. Happy jumps out before he gets burned and lands in some snow. He says "Hey kids! One day, you will see something like this on TV!" Behind him, the shuttle was breaking up into small pieces. The credits rolled. I played Happy Meets the Rhubears / Camp Aaah! Next. It starts with the intro, which is acoustic for some reason. It begins with Happy Appy walking in the playground with his injuries. He sees the green Rhubear running around and Happy says "Hey, Mr. Teddy!" and the Rhubear doesn't respond. Happy says, "Mr. Teddy, let's go find some kids to heal!" and the Rhubear nods his head. They hear crying coming from the swings. Happy and the Rhubear walk over to a kid who hit his head on the seat of the swings. Happy gets out some bandages and heals the kid. They hear a car ram into another. Happy turns around and sees a long limousine crashing into a van that wasn't his. A man exits the car and it turns out to be Aphex Twin himself.
He starts doing the dance with the umbrella, but it was stock footage from Windowlicker hastily put together. Happy and the Rhubear walk up to him and Happy asks, "Hey, who are you?" and Aphex says, "My name is Richard!" Happy looks at him and responds "Let's go find some children to heal!" and Aphex says "Sure!" The rest of the episode is them healing children who injure themselves on various parts of the playground. When we first saw this episode, it was so tame for a Halloween special that I thought it was a season 1 episode mislabeled as a season 2 episode. Also, I asked Jim why the episode was called "Happy and the Rhubears" if only the green one is present. He said there would have been all three, but they didn't have the money to get the others. Anyway, after that was Camp Aaah. It starts with the intro, that CSI-like thing featuring the main characters (Happy, Napoleon, and Danny from the TV movie). Why was the acoustic intro used only once? Either way, it starts with Happy driving his van, saying "Who's ready for a camping trip?" with two girls in the passenger seats cheering. After driving a while, Happy parks in the camp, sets the washcloth, and sits on it next to the girls. After staring at the sky for a few seconds, the beach jock apple appears. Happy says, "Move it, ladies," and it's much clearer this time. Suddenly, some sort of quality shift happened. Happy's voice was different. The girls looked different. Event he bully looked different.
It was almost like another person picked up where Nickelodeon left off and did a horrible job at it. Anyway, the beach jock apple says, "Don't go to the beach!" and Happy asks why. The beach jock apple says "Because I said so!" and pushes Happy out of the way. Happy decides to go up the trail to the beach. What he finds are a bunch of children playing on the beach, and one is poking at something out of view with a stick. The camera turns to the object, which is Miranda's body. Happy screams "STOP DOING THAT!" and brings out a knife. The next shot showed the girls still sitting on the washcloth when they hear children screaming. One of the girls asks what happened, and the other says "Let's find out!" The two girls go to the beach, but what they find are a bunch of children's bodies in one horrifying pile. On top of the pile was a bloodstained Happy Appy with a knife. He turns around with that creepy smile and says "Hey girls, I have a present for you! Come over here!" They walk over and it cuts to the same place with the washcloth, now with both girls screaming. The episode ends with Happy Appy dragging some children back into his van and driving off, with this narration:
And that, my friends, is how Camp Aaah got its name, from Happy Appy himself!
Interestingly, there was some whispering during the credits, briefly.
December 14th.
We had no idea what that meant. Was it supposed to be related to a season of the show? Either way, we didn't ponder that question long and went on with our watching. I played the episode Happy and the Oranges. It starts with the same old intro of Happy Appy dancing and it cuts to Happy killing the beach jock apple. This episode must have taken place immediately after Camp Aaah! We see Happy walking around the playground with children at play. He sees something to the right: two puppets that were oranges, sitting on a bench. He walks up to the bench and says, "Hey, who are you?" and the oranges respond, "We're the Oranges!" Happy tells them "Well, I'm Happy Appy!" and the oranges screamed and ran off. Happy shouts, "Every God damn time!" and goes into his van. He enters the Oranges' house in the middle of the night. The first Orange is watching TV, while the second is reading a book. The second says "Hey, Oscar." The first responds with "What, Octavius?" Octavius Orange looks at Oscar Orange and says "Did you know that no words rhyme with orange?" Oscar says "Oh, really?" Octavius finishes with "Yeah. You know what? I'm going to bed. Running from Happy sure tired me out!" Oscar nods and continues to watch TV.
Happy jumps onto the roof of the house with an orange peeler in his right hand. He whispers, "Hey kids, let's go skin some oranges!" and climbs down the ladder to where Octavius Orange is, and peels his skin. After that, he puts Octavius in a vice and starts turning the crank, making Octavius get "squeezed." after that, Oscar knocks on the door and Happy hides. When Oscar opens the door and turns on the light, he sees Octavius' body and screams. Happy jumps out of hiding and peels and vices Oscar in the same way as Octavius, and the episode ends.
Lighter's premise was about Happy finding a Zippo lighter laying around on the playground. It starts with the acoustic intro this time (why now?). It cuts to Happy walking on the playground, and... You know what, I have a question before I go on. If Happy kills a lot of children, why don't they notice him instantly? And why don't the parents do anything? Anyway, Happy stops and picks up a lighter. He says "Hey kids, look what Happy found!" It cuts to Happy turning on the lighter. He says "Today, we're going to learn about fire!" We know what was most likely going to happen. Happy burns down houses and set children on fire. Happy Appy walks over to a living worm. He exclaims, "Fire can badly hurt people and, in some cases, kill them. Like this worm!" He sets the worm on fire and you can see its body turn to ash. Happy said, "Magnifying glasses can also set small insects on fire!" before walking over to a kid. The kid didn't recognize him, so Happy turned on the lighter and set the kid on fire. The kid tried to stop, drop, and roll, but it was too late. Happy said, "Let's go find a house to burn!" and he walks over to a house on a boardwalk, then burns it down. The fire spreads and the entire boardwalk catches on fire. The rest of the episode after that was Happy watching the place burn to the ground. At the end, he says in his cheerful voice, "That was fun! You know, you should just do that to make me proud!" Jim looked at me and said in a smug tone, "Sure, let's totally follow a fake apple's words and burn shit down."
I played Happy and the Blackberry, which was two minutes short of a normal episode. It starts with a giant angry blackberry puppet saying, "Hey, my name's Derry Berry, and I hate Happy Appy!" Derry runs towards Happy, who is putting medical tape and cotton on a kid's bloody gash near his wrist. Happy turns around, holding scissors, and Derry accidentally runs into them. Happy says, "Remember kids, always look where you're going or you will get a boo-boo!" Derry pulls himself off the scissors and tries to eat Happy. Happy pushes him off and stabs him in the eye with a scalpel. Derry screams and Happy pulls the scalpel out, ripping Derry's eyeball out in the process. Happy grabs a rusty saw and slowly hacks him in two. The rest of the episode shows Derry's body after Happy cuts it in half.
I played Napoleon, the Big Help. It began with Happy trying to kill June (just to clarify if I wasn't clear before, June is Danny's mother). He is struggling to kill her with the same saw he used to kill Derry Berry with, while June is trying to stab him in the face with a knife. Happy says, "Master, master, please come help me!" Forenzik, in all his "glory," walks in slowly and says "Yes, Happy Appy?" Happy says, "This woman is trying to kill me!" Forenzik says "Let me help!" and stabs June in the back, weakening her. The rest of the episode was a snuff film, recorded on a low-quality home camera. What Forenzik did on camera to June was absolutely horrifying, so I'll be quick about the explanation. First, he cuts off her arms with a scimitar-looking knife, slowly and painfully. After that, he proceeds to cut her legs off with the same cleaver and starts skinning her. After minutes of skinning, she dies and Forenzik cheerfully says "Oh no!" He cuts open her stomach, pulls her guts out, and starts eating them. After twenty hard-to-watch minutes, he finally stops. Thank God. After that horrifying scene, Danny from the TV movie comes in crying and sets Happy on fire.
Forenzik threatens to kill Danny, who runs off-screen. Forenzik walks out with the knife. Finally, Happy's model melts, ending the episode. Jim's reaction was, and I quote, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" I had the same reaction, but in a quieter voice. We had a lot of questions about this episode. Why was Forenzik in it? Did Forenzik make the episode, or did one of his friends? For that matter, did Forenzik even make this DVD? I don't know, and we really don't want to know.
I played Nuxik, which was actually called "Happy Goes Bonkers." It starts out with a girl forming Happy into his normal shape, but drops a garrote wire next to him. Happy grabs the wire and, off-screen, cuts her throat open with it. After that, he says "Hey kids! I'm going to kill Danny!" The rest of the episode is Happy Appy going around, using disguises to try to get close enough to Danny to kill him. They include the spacesuit from Happy in Space, the costume from Happy Appy Goes to the Circus, and Octavius Orange's and Derry Berry's skin. Somehow, Danny finds out that Happy is trying to kill him. After the fifth attempt, Happy (as the title says) goes bonkers. He rants to the camera about how he never has his way. After about five minutes, he stares at the camera motionlessly and the episode ends. I said to Jim that we would watch the next third tomorrow, as it was getting late, and I left. The thing is, though... As I left, I swear I saw Forenzik walking up the street, but it was so dark that it could have been someone else. I pray to God it was someone else.
Welcome to the second part of the Happy Appy Episode Watching posts.
In Rose of Blood 'n' Bones, we see Happy Appy painting a picture with red paint. The picture is of a rose in a playground. It was innocent, until we see Happy Appy run out of red paint. He says, "Damn it-- Oh, whoops! Hey kids, let's go find some red paint and white sticks!" We see Happy leave his van and lure in two kids, then goes off-screen and presumbly mutilates them, from the sound of things. It cuts to Happy painting the same picture, but we see he has more "red paint" and "white sticks" as the stalk of the rose. After a minute, he finishes the painting. He shows the end result and says, "My masterpiece is complete. I call it 'The Rose of Blood 'n' Bones'. Hey kids, you too can make a painting using body parts and blood! If you make one, send it to me and I will give you a prize!" The video ends before the address was shown. In Can of Kill, we see Happy cleaning out some large tin cans and working on mechanics in his van. After a few minutes, Happy notices the camera and says, "Hey kids, I'm working on my can contraption!", then goes back to working on the can. It cuts to a tin can in the middle of the playground, with the words "OPEN ME" on it. Happy comes from the left and says, "Whenever someone opens the can of kill, a spray bottle pops out and sprays the kid with poison! This is my best invention ever, and it should get me a Nobel Prize. Well, mostly for peace!" While he is talking his mouth off, we see a kid named Quincy open the can, get hit with some sort of poisonous spray, and pass out. Happy notices Quincy's body and says "Hey, it works! You too can make a can of kill! All you need to do is send five dollars to this address and you can wipe out anyone that hates you!" and an address appeared. Before the credits played, Happy drags Quincy's body into his van.
I played Jar of Hate. Happy is sitting in his van when he says "Hello kids! Do you want to see my jar of hate?" A kid walks up to him and says "Happy, hate is a strong word!" In response, Happy says "Shoo, Jacob!" and pushes him away. Happy proceeds to write Jacob's name on a blank scrap of paper and places it into a jar of names. He says "My jar of hate has the names of people I will kill! Let's see who's going to be the lucky ones!" He empties the jar and picks out three names, then says "The people I will kill are Jacob, Miranda, and Danny!" He sneaks behind Jacob with the cleaver from Big Help, jumps, and the credits roll. You can hear Jacob being killed in the background and Forenzik screaming "STAND STILL!" I played Happy's Rising next. It starts with Happy healing a kid using a bandage, but he says "Hey kids, want to come have fun with me and Benny?" Everyone, including Benny, comes running into Happy Appy's van. However, to trick Happy, Benny leaves quickly and silently. It shows Happy with a hand grenade and he says "Want to see a cool trick?" Of course, the children shout yes. Happy throws a smoke bomb, drops the grenade, and gets out of the van. We hear a child scream as the van explodes into a thousand pieces. The scene is very realistic, with body parts everywhere. Happy polishes a toe, puts it in a jar, and puts the jar in a mysterious brown bag which has been in the background since the Blackberry episode for whatever reason. Benny runs over to Danny, who is playing with a girl. Benny says, "Happy tried to kill me!" and Danny says "Well, at least you're safe with me here." and the episode ends.
I played Happy Kills Benny next. It starts with Benny playing at the playground, but he notices Happy and his new van, which was all black this time around. He says to his parents that he wants to go home because someone is staring at him funny. His parents look at the area Happy was, but he isn't there. They said, "No one's there, though." Benny calms down. Benny sees Happy again and Benny runs toward his parents. He says that Happy is talking him. The parents see Happy, but he's helping a kid. The parents say that Happy's just helping a kid. Later, Benny finds a $20 bill. He picks it up and Happy stabs him. Happy drags the body into his van and it cuts to the credits, showing a brutal murder scene. Miranda Lives started after that. It starts with a piano version of the song sung by three of the five original kindergarteners (presumably now first or second graders). The intro showed clips from Happy and the Oranges, Happy Kills Benny, Camp Aaah, and two other episodes I hadn't seen yet. It began with Miranda's body on the beach. We see another kid poke it with a stick, but Miranda mysteriously awakens, screaming loudly. She says 'Happy Appy is going to pay for what he has done!" and runs toward the playground. We see Happy Appy working on another portrait of a rose, with several more nearby. Miranda throws open the van's sliding door and screams "Happy Appy, I am going to kill you RIGHT NOW!" and Happy says, "Fine, do it. Kill me! Just try! You'll just end up feeling the wrath of Napoleon!" The episode ends there.
After that came Miranda Dies. Miranda gets a knife and stabs Happy's arm, pinning him to the wall. Happy screams in pain and Miranda says "I finally have you in my grasp! Now, I will do what I've wanted to for so long." Happy smugly says, "What's that?" Miranda laughs and says "KILL YOU!" Suddenly, a shadowy figure looms over Miranda. It was none other than (guess who?) Forenzik. He coldly says "The only murder that will happen today is yours." Miranda screams and tries to stab Forenzik, but he slams her down on the table Happy uses to cut up kids. At this point, it's quite clear that whoever worked on this episode used an obvious stunt double for Miranda, as her skin and hair were darker. Forenzik brings out the scimitar-looking knife and begins cutting her open. She screams in horror, which visibly irritates him. To stop her screaming, Forenzik grabs a random piece of wood off the floor and shoves it in her mouth, silencing her. He opens her up and starts cutting organs out, eating parts in the process. By this point, Jim had stopped watching. He turned the TV off and decided to take a break. We had to. A few hours later, we went back tot he video and were greeted by more sickening scene. I won't describe them in full - they were horrible. In a nutshell, there's cannibalism, necrophilia, dismemberment, and skinning. Yeah. After that, Forenzik turns to the camera, smiling and holding a chunk of Miranda's brain. The episode ends.
That's it. Jim and I can't do any more episodes. From here, they'rejust going to get more fucking sickening. I can't do it, yet I feel some strange compulsion to watch the rest. Alright, we'll watch the rest tomorrow. But after that, I'm destroying the DVD.
Welcome to the last post of the Happy Appy Episode Watching posts.
I started Napoleon, a Bigger Help. It's just great. The last thing we saw yesterday was a snuff film, and the first thing I see today is possibly another! It starts with Happy saying "Hey kids, last week was fun, killing Miranda with my best pal. Hey, come over here!" Forenzik walks into view, saying "Yes, Happy?" Happy says, "You know, we've killed women, but we haven't done any children yet." Forenzik gasps like a girl and says "Oh, you're right, Happy! Let's kill someone!" Oh God. I can't take it anymore. They find a child skipping some pebbles at a lake. Happy's van comes into view and the kid flings a pebble at it, leaving a mark on the driver's side window. Happy gets mad at the kid, so he shoves him in a burlap sack and goes into his van. Inside, Forenzik murders the kid while Happy sits in view. What happened was so absolutely horrifying that I can't say what happened in detail. I'll just say that by the end, the kid only had half of his skin, his skeleton, and chunks of organs left. Like the Miranda scene, you know why I didn't post what happened. Before you say I should know Forenzik's identity by now, I should mention that during his snuff films, he wears a ski mask instead of his gas mask. In fact, it's the same ski mask Napoleon wears in the CSI-style Happy Appy intro.
Meaner played afterward. It picks up right after Happy Goes Bonkers, where Happy is in his van polishing his cleaver and cleaning the body parts of children. The corpse of the girl he sliced with the garrote wakes up, and both the girl and Happy scream. Happy injects the girl with some of the green fluids he used on the kid in Happy the Doctor, and proceeds to mutilate her off-screen. After Happy is done, he is heard chopping the girl's head off with the cleaver. Happy leaves his van with the knife and says "That was fun! Killing is a fun thing to do! You can do it at home if your mommy and daddy allow you to. If they don't, which will probably happen, do it anyway because I, Happy Appy, say so!" and the credits roll.
In Happy Appy's Christmas, we see Happy Appy drive to the playground in his van, which is decked out in Christmas lights and decorations. After a minute of waiting, Happy, dressed in a Santa outfit, leaves the van through the side door and shouts "MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHILDREN!" His voice grabs the attention of nearly every kid on the playground and they rush over to him asking for presents. Happy panics for a moment and then slowly gives every child a small present. One of the kids opens his present and it turns out to be a juice box. Eventually, every present gets opened and they all turn out to be juice boxes. We see the children drink them, except for Danny, who was hiding behind the monkey bars. All of a sudden, we see all of the children collapse. When I first saw this, I thought he had done a Jim Jones and put poison in the juice boxes. Happy says "Looks like my knockout drinks worked!" and drags the kids into his van from Danny's point of view. We see Happy drive off, while Danny runs after him. Eventually, Happy shouts "MERRY CHRISTMAS!", causing Danny to stomp on the ground and scream "I HATE YOU, HAPPY!" The episode suddenly ends.
Happy's House played. We see a nice looking house with Happy Appy standing in front of it. Happy says "Hey kids! Who wants to see my house?" and walks inside. We get a tour of Happy's house. For the first half, it seemed pretty normal. Suddenly, Happy says "Now for the main highlight of the tour! Are you ready to see my basement?" He goes inside and opens the cellar door. We see a dark room. Happy flicks on the light and we see the basement, full of body parts. On the walls were dry splatters of blood and skin stretched to look like bear rugs. On the various tables were jars of body parts. There was one table covered in a cloth with a humanoid figure under it. Happy says "Hey kids, here's my magnum opus under this cloth!" He pulls off the clotha nd what's under it is a statue of a human made out of human parts. It's unfinished, to say the least. Happy has yet to add the organs and rest of the skin. Happy says "Hey kids, you should make a statue like mine!" and the credits roll. Jim mocked Happy's ideas as he did when we watched Lighter.
Napoleon, the Biggest Help was next. Great, another snuff film. Seeing the list of episodes, it looks like the last. In this episode, Happy is seen putting organs into his statue. He puts a stomach, heart, and ribs in, but finds out he has no intestines. Happy screams for Forenzik. Forenzik comes over and Happy says, "Napoleon, could you please find me some intestines? Preferably adult ones?" Forenzik nods and goes out. We see Forenzik go into Danny's house, where he and his father are crying over the death of June. Danny notices Forenzik and screams. Danny's dad rushes over and Danny runs away. Forenzik slashes the dad's throat and drags him out the door. Forenzik says "You are very lucky I haven't killed you yet, Danny." He takes Danny's dad to Happy's house. Forenzik cuts open Danny's dad's stomach and mutilates him to no end. Happy cheers Forenzik on while Forenzik throws Happy Appy body parts like a bear throwing chunks of flesh to her cubs. After probably one of the less brutal snuff scenes (compared to Miranda and the kid, at least), we see Happy cheerfully place the intestines in the statue and the episode ends. Jim couldn't take it anymore. If we see another snuff film, I am so going to destroy the disc. Immediately.
We played Danny's Love. We see Danny kissing the girl from a few episodes back, saying "I love you, Jenny!" Happy notices Jenny from the bushes. He says "Hey kids! Who wants to see a relationship end?" Jenny goes near the road. She notices that a limo is there, and it looks like the one Aphex rode in Happy Meets the Rhubears. Excited for whatever reason, she knocks on the window. A man in shades that looks a lot like John Wilkinson rolls down the window. She says, "Hey mister, you have a nice car!" He smiles and says "Thanks!" Suddenly, Happy opens the door and grabs Jenny. We see the limo drive away. Danny sees the limo drive away with Jenny and screams, crying for the last five minutes of the episode. And after that, we were onto Happy Fest and Happy Rots in Hell. In Happy Fest, we see Happy discuss plans to the camera. He says "Hey kids! I have an idea that will change the world! I will make everyone happy!" and brings out a knife. I knew what he was going to do. He was going to carve smiles into people's mouths. He got out of his van and said "Hey kids! Who wants to smile, even when they're sad?" and all the children (around five or six) come running into Happy's van. Happy locks the doors, does that evil smile, holds up a knife...then we see the outside of the van and heard children screaming while Happy laughed. After that, Happy opens the door and climbs out. In the background, you could see a kid's body whose mouth was stretched like that Japanese Slit-Mouthed Woman demon, but in a smile. Happy says "If you make everyone smile, the entire world will be a better place!" and the credits roll.
Finally, Happy Rots in Hell. I couldn't believe it. It was the end (well, minus the epilogue), and we couldn't feel any better. This was actually our favorite episode, and you can probably guess why. In Happy Rots in Hell, Happy drives to an old house where Danny is hiding. We see Danny holding a knife while another girl is with him, holding keys. Danny says "I hope Happy doesn't come here, Abigail." We see Happy Appy knock down the door with brute force. Abby says "I'm going downstairs to open the door to the basement." Danny says "Okay, but if Happy hears or sees you, call for me." Abby walks downstairs, trying not to make a noise, gets the keys, and tries to unlock the door. The jangling of keys alerts Happy. He creepily says "I hear you!" before running over to try to kill Abby. She unlocks the door and gets in the room before Happy could reach her. She locks the door and Happy shouts "Don't think you can hide forever, Abby!" before running. A revving of a chainsaw is heard and Happy is seen trying to chainsaw down the door. Danny shouts "GET ME INSTEAD!" and Happy says "Oh, goody! You're much more important than her!" It cuts to a POV shot of Happy trying to slice Danny with the chainsaw.
Danny runs into the stairwell room. Abby locks the door again and the two run down the hall as Happy tries to cut down the door. Abby finds out there's a door to the basement so she tries to unlock it, when Happy breaks through the door behind him. He runs toward them, but Abigail unlocks and opens the door, slamming it in Happy's face. We see the basement, which is a bunch of pipes and a random chest. Danny opens the chest and finds a knife and a revolver with six bullets. Danny tells Appy to get out using some stairs to the side. She does as Happy breaks down the door. He charges at Danny with the chainsaw, making Danny jump out of the way. Danny fires the revolver once, but misses Happy. The chainsaw gets stuck in the wall and Happy pulls it out, forcing him back and having him dodge two more bullets. Danny fires the rest of the bullets and one hits Happy. He screams and pushes Danny down. Happyg rabs his chainsaw and shouts, "Now I will have my revenge!" Danny rolls out of the way just as Happy Appy forces the chainsaw into the ground.
He pulls it out and notices that Danny is going after the chest. He charges, but Danny grabs the knife and throws it at Happy. Happy dodges and the knife hits a gas pipe. Gas sprays everywhere and Happy rushes to clog the pipe with a cloth. He stops the leak but the room is covered in gas. Danny finds a box of matches and lights one. He mocks Happy, causing him to turn around. Horrified, Happy tries to cut Danny in half, but Danny gets out of the way and drops the match on a patch of gas. Happy begins to scream as the basement fills with fire. Danny gets out of the basement in time, somehow now being burned. Happy notices there are some explosive chemicals to the side and says "Oh no! It looks like this is the end for ol-" before it cuts to the house, where it explodes and collapses due to the foundations being blown by the explosive chemicals. We see a camera pan to the destroyed basement, where Happy's melted, crushed body lays. Abby is crying nearby while Danny is trying to comfort her. Suddenly, Forenzik grabs both of me and coldly says "You have killed my creation. Now I will do the same to you two!"
Finally... The epilogue. It starts out with someone playing that song Gloomy Sunday by Rezső Seress, showing clips of all the episodes in its intro (minus the snuff ones) in black and white. It cuts to a man typing on a typewriter with the crushed Appy at its side. The paper the man is typing on seems to be about Happy Appy. A subtitle appears that says "Portrayed by an actor." A narrator talks over this scene.
It looks like the evil rampage of Happy Appy has come to a close. Although he has died, his unfortunate impact on the world lives on. The many people who died on that show did it so the sick man who directed the show could see his true vision, a snuff TV show. Where the director is, I have no idea, but I think everybody would like to think that he died in a gruesome way.
The man turns his face to the camera.
You'd think he had died. But, although Happy is long dead, the director lives on and, somewhere in the world, he is making private home movies which continue the horrible story of Happy Appy. You might be wondering one thing, though: Why did Happy Appy go so bad? We might never know until the director comes out and reveals why he made Happy kill all these people.
We see the man slowly fix Happy's puppet with clay model utensils.
Somewhere in the world, the director is slowly rebuilding Happy's clay model, damaged in the series finale of Happy Appy. If the director rebuilds Happy's model, who knows who might be killed next. It could be a celebrity's child. It could be the president's child. It could be any child. We can only say two things. The director is alive and might be killing someone right now. I hope someone will kill the director, Freddrick Gorgote.
It cuts to Happy's rebuilt model. The director adds a knife. It cuts to black and a scream is heard.
I hope someone will kill Napoleon.
And now we know who Forenzik / Napoleon is. He is the director of the show, Freddrick Gorgote. As the disc ended, Jim said, "Well, at least that's over and we know who Forenzik is now." He gave the disc to me and said "Keep this. Even though I want this destroyed, keep it, so that you can learn more about how these episodes were made." I agreed and left his house to tell you about these last episodes. Oh, and I remade the episode list. I guessed on whee Hospital Doctor was (it's not Happy the Doctor).
Season 1:
Season 2:
You know, I don't think that revealing Forenzik's identity was a good idea. When I went to sleep last night, I heard someone open the back door. Since it was probably Freddrick or one of his friends, I grabbed a gun and went into the kitchen. In front of me was a man in Forenzik's clothes trying to burn my house down with a lighter. However, unlike the normal Forenzik, he was quite fat, giving me the idea that he might have been John Wilkinson in disguise. Before he could turn on the lighter, I shout him in the leg. As he stumbled to the ground, screaming in pain, he dropped the unlit lighter to the ground. He tried to light it up again, but I stepped on his hand. With his free hand, he tried to slash my ankle with a knife, but I kicked the knife out of his hand with my other foot. I grabbed the knife and held it to his throat. The man proceeded to say "Do it, you stupid foreigner! End my life, and you'll fear Freddrick so much that you'll piss your pants at the thought of him, you sissy!"
I chuckled and said, "No, I'll just do this!" As soon as I finished talking, I grabbed him and threw him head-first into a metal radiator, knocking him out. After that I called the police over. They revealed who tried to burn my house down: it was none other than John Wilkinson. I seriously wonder where Freddrick Gorgote is. He can't have possibly returned to the John Wilkinson Summer Camp.
I got it! You know the address mentioned in Can of Kill (and possibly the Rose episode)? I think Freddrick is hiding out where that address is! Now that I may have a possible lead, I'm planning on going to the address soon, probably within the next day or two. I have to go now. I need to gather some small weapons to take with me, just so that I could protect myself if he chases after me.
Oh shit. Oh shit.
Today, I found out that a Mr. Oscar Matthews died today. Normally, I would only post about a death if it was member of the team that worked on Happy Appy. This man didn't. In fact, he was a big fan of this blog and would ask questions often by email. I'm really going to stop Freddrick now! I'm horrified. Freddrick is starting to kill fans of the blog. When he's done with my fans, I think he's going to go for me next. I definitely can't let that happen!
This will be the last post on this blog. Even though many questions related to the show remain unanswered, this post will (or might) answer the ones related to Forenzik/Freddrick.
First, my trip to that address. Since I live in the suburbs of Aberdeen, Washington and the address was near Alma, Colorado, I chose to take a long car ride. I took a bunch of things with me, just in case. The first thing is a photo of Freddrick Gorgote that I found on the internet, so I could be absolutely certain the Forenzik I found was him. Second, I took weapons - a knife and a pistol. After driving for almost 23 hours, I reached Alma. The address (which I will not reveal, for safety's sake) was just over five miles out of Alma. It was a fancy abandoned house, sort of like the one in Happy Rots in Hell. In fact, I think it was the exact same house, albeit without that spray painted sign that said "Happy Appy Funhouse!!!" above the door. I don't know why the house was rebuilt. To make sure Freddrick didn't trap the front door, I peeked inside very carefully. Sure enough, there was a shotgun trap with a shotgun. I tried to sneak in through the window, but it was locked, so I had no choice but to break it. I climbed in, making sure not to cut myself on any glass. After that I disarmed the trap and took the shotgun.
The house was completely abandoned and all the lights were off, save for the room I climbed into. I looked for the light switch, but I was distracted by the fact that parts of the floor were wet. This meant a number of things: a water leak, blood on the floor, gas...anything. I ran to the switch and tried to turn the light on. However, it didn't work, so I headed for the circuit breaker. Sure enough, all but one switch was turned off. It urned on every switch, causing the house to light up. I went back to the staircase room and turned that light off. As I guessed, there was blood on the floor. I called out, "Hey Forenzik! I know you're here and I turned on the power to every room in the house! Now you can't hide in the shadows!" There was no response. I shouted, "HEY FREDDRICK GORGOTE! I KNOW YOU'RE FORENZIK!", and got no response again. Since there was no response, I explored the house a bit more. From the staircase room, the living room was to the right and the kitchen was on the left. Since I was closer to the right, I explored the living room first. It looked like it had been abandoned since the 1950s. The couch was old and brown, and had various tears in the cushions and seat. The TV was an old analog set that could only display static (I don't think it had a converter box). A frame on the wall had a picture of the weird guy from the Towers.
On the front wall, there was a door left open. I went through it and found myself in the laundry room. It looked like a regular laundry room, with washing machines and laundry baskets. However, some pieces of clothing in the baskets were stained with blood. Over them was a framed photograph of Freddrick as Napoleon hanging out with Happy Appy. Other than a door to the right that lead outside, there was nowhere to go. I left the room and went into the kitchen. I wish I hadn't. The kitchen was just as run down as the living room, but worse. There were countertops, a dishwasher, and an oven that had rusted up. On them was rotten meat infested with maggots. The stench was unbearable, so I quickly left the kitchen and headed into the dining room. I didn't notice anything there other than the rotten meat. As I entered the dining room, I noticed more maggot-infested rotten meat. I ran into the next room, which was the hallway, and looked at what the dining room had in it. There were various chairs pulled out, but other than that, it just looked like a run down dining room with rotting meat on the table.
The hallway was nothing special, to be honest, and led to nowhere. At the end, near the laundry room, it looked like someone piled up a bunch of wood to block off entry. After dashing through the dining room and kitchen, avoiding the smell and knocking a chair over, it was time to go upstairs. It was the only place I could go. As I was walking up, though, I had a feeling someone was watching me. I turned around, but no one was there. I finally went up and tried to decide where to go - the left hallway or the right. Suddenly, I heard an all-too-familiar voice. "Hey Gerasim! Guess who?" I froze instantly. It was Freddrick on the other side of the hallway. I said, "Are you going to run away from me this time?" and he scoffed, asking "Now, why would I do that? You know I'd never run away!" I responded with "LISTEN, FREDDRICK! How do you keep coming back?" I heard no response for a while, then he spoke again. "Well, I have some people who work with me. They do my dirty work and try to kill you. But anyway, how did you get here?" I responded with, "There was an address listed in two episodes of season 2, and I went wherever it said." Freddrick laughed. "Ah, looks like I shouldn't have put that address in. It would have made the authorities' search more fun. For me, that is!"
I wondered if I could talk Freddrick out of killing me. "Listen, Freddrick, why do you kill people?" He cheerfully replied, "Well, it depends on who. If it was an ex-coworker of mine, it was because I wanted Happy Appy to be more mature, but those damn higher ups wouldn't let me. Now that they're all dead, I went after your fans. I'll soon get to you!" I was about to mention that John Tresti, Jim Forester, and Terry Drews were still alive, but I stopped. Freddrick probably had them killed already, except for Forester. I instead said "Well, you don't have to kill people just because they ruined your show. Or, should I say, 'magnum opus.'" Freddrick took out his blood-stained knife and glared at me. "Do NOT make fun of my show! I bet you don't have the balls to make another comment. Well? Do it!" Sighing, I said, "You should have been happy that your show aired and got decent ratings. Look at some of the shows now that only air for a few episodes before being cancelled." Freddrick put away the knife and said, "Eh, you're right, I should have been happy about my show." I was relieved to have finally got through to him. Or...so I thought.
"But I still love my lifestyle! I Love killing people, evading cops, and most of all, stalking you. Oh, the joys!" I knew it. Freddrick was so mentally ill that it would be hard to stop his ways with just some words. "Freddrick, have you ever wanted to be successful?" Freddrick instantly said, "Yes, at covering up Happy Appy forever! I don't need your help, because I'm doing it just fine!" I responded, "No, I mean having a successful life." He looked thoughtful about it for a moment before replying. "Well, yeah. Who wouldn't want one?" I cringed, saying, "Well, because you've...to put it best... Fucked up your chances of having a successful life." Freddrick was offended. He pulled the knife out again and said in a louder tone, "WHY THE HELL would you say that?!" Sighing again, I said, "Because for one, you killed a lot of people and the cops are looking for you. Two, if you're caught, you're going to jail for life or will be put on death row." Freddrick finally looked like he was realizing what I was saying was true. He was never going to have a successful life. He looked at me and said, "Oh my God. You're right. I can't believe I... What have I been doing all this time?" He sat on the stairs and put his head in his hands. I watched him. "Listen, Freddrick, you don't have a choice. One day, you will go to jail and you will die there."
Freddrick said, "Go. Just go. I don't care anymore. I'd rather kill myself than be put to the electric chair or lethal injection." I said, "Listen, you could probaby start a new life by changing your identity and moving to another country, but you'll get arrested one day, so it's a checkmate now." Finally, he said, "Listen. Before I kill myself, I want to show you my true face. I've got to show someone." I nodded, confused. Freddrick took off his mask. I saw a skinny, pale face with various scars and hair that was ripped out at random spots. This was the man I'd been looking for for quite some time. Finally, Freddrick told me, "Well Gerasim, it looks like it's time to go. I'm not sorry for all the killings I've done, but I'm going to make the survivors' world a lot safer." He picked his knife back up and jammed it into his throat. I felt sort of...sad that I couldn't save Freddrick from his mental illness. Once he stopped moving, I checked his body for anything important. I found some interesting things. A couple knives with dried blood, and a folded sheet of paper. The paper had the names of nine people that had worked for him. I took the paper and Freddrick's gas mask, left the house, and went to my car to go back home. I left the shotgun and knife behind.
This is it. I can't believe I have to stop posting on this blog, but there's nothing else to talk about. I've covered pretty much everything about the show. I watched seasons 1 and 2, killed the show's insane director, and even went to the studios where the show was filmed. That doesn't mean the search for answers is over, though. If you look hard enough, you can find more answers to the unexplained questions that relate to Happy Appy. But you know...what will I do when I quit posting here? What are my regrets about this investigation? Well, I might open another blog, for one. That other show, Fright Night Screamers, sounds pretty interesting. And as for what I'll regret? Absolutely nothing. I just want to never see this damn show ever again. I'm sorry for leaving this blog, but we must part ways for now.
See you soon,
Gerasim Vasily Yakovlev
P.S. I haven't explained something. How did the episodes get to Noggin? Well...not all of them did. Like I said way back in one of my first two posts, only a select few aired before the show was cancelled. How the other episodes came to be made, I'll probably never know. Maybe Freddrick, after it was cancelled, made new episodes. It would explain why they became gorier and more low-budget.
P.P.S. Here's another question I almost forgot to answer: where's the playground? You see, they did film the playground scenes at a real playground in Colorado. The only scenes they filmed in-studio were scenes that didn't take place at the playground. They had two vans for Happy, too: a miniature and an actual van. After the scene in the Happy Appy Movie, it looks like they bought a new van. After the part in Happy's Rising with the grenade, a new black one was bought. That's all I could find out.
Here are the contents of the list I forgot to post.
I know I said that was my last post, but the man who uploaded the three interviews closed his account on Youtube. However, he's given me one last interview, with Ray Bollia, who played Danny.
Interviewer: Ray Bollia?
RB: Keep it quick, please. I still have nightmares about what Freddrick has done to me.
Interviewer: How were you involved with Happy Appy?
RB: It all started in a town called Alma, in Colorado. I was living there before Freddrick kidnapped me.
Interviewer: How did this happen?
RB: It was 1999. Happy Appy had just been cancelled and all its staff were fired. The director moved to Alma under a new identity, after he'd been charged for some crime.
Interviewer: How were you kidnapped?
RB: When I was 7, I was being babysat by my mother's friend. Late in the night, the man kidnapped me without leaving a trace.
Interviewer: Where were you taken?
RB: I was taken to a house that had the shape of a barn. It had tinted windows, three floors, and a cellar. It was also dark blue. There, Freddrick filmed more episodes of his sick show.
Interviewer: How did you escape?
RB: After filming what I think was the final episode at his house, the police got an anonymous tip saying that the guy who kidnapped me, Miranda, Abigail, and some other kids was living in the dark blue house outside of town. So, the police broke in and saved the four of us. Freddrick ran away and the police never caught him, which I find pretty stupid. He needs to be found and killed for what he did to me and the others! ...Oh, uh, sorry. I get too carried away. Interviewer: Last question for now. What happened to Freddrick?
RB: Last I heard, he started going by the name Forenzik.
I know, I know. You're probably asking yourself where I've been. In fact, if I don't explain, I just know I'm going to get so many comments asking.
The easiest answer I can give is that I basically decided to stop caring about Happy Appy. There are two reasons why. The first is that some members of Freddrick's "group," to put it simply, are still seeking revenge. The second is that there's nothing else to say about the show anymore. During the time I was gone, I went back to my family in Russia. Sometime later this month, my younger brother is coming to visit. Just a month ago, I got a better job, meaning I have even less time to post. Also, during the time I was gone, only one person relating to Happy Appy died. That's amazing, considering that, at the very least, five to seven people died a year before I began my research in 2011. Said employee was Joanne Broope, who you may remember as being one of the producers during the real Happy Appy movie. She was actually a post-production editor for the show, but she only worked on Happy's Vacation and Nate Needs Help. The interesting thing is how she died, though. Joanne wasn't killed with a knife or anything Freddrick's followers would normally use. Her head was smashed in with a sledgehammer. Thankfully, it looks like Freddrick's followers have slowed down on killing, which is good. From now on, by the way, I'm going to call the people who worked with Freddrick "the Followers," for consistency reasons.
Well, I guess this is the end of the blog. There isn't much I have to say now. The only things to talk about were Happy Appy and Freddrick Gorgote, and both of those things are dead, so... Unless something new happens, I'm not going to update this blog anymore. I'll still keep it up, so everyone can read about what happened.